Part 3: Moving On

Chapter List

Chapter 13: If, When, and How to Leave Your Job

Chapter 14: The Rules of the Road to a New Career

Part Overview

“Parting is such sweet sorrow . . .”

Well, in matters of love, yes. In matters of work, parting can range from exciting to devastating, depending on who made the decision that it was time for you to move on.

Taking control of your career includes developing your own crystal ball of sorts—significantly increasing your level of awareness, paying more attention to your inklings about what is going on inside of you and around you, and choosing how you want things to turn out. The following examples give you a sense of the level of control you have over the decisions you make and the risks you take when you leave a job.

Nancy’s story:

For 3 years, Nancy had arrived at her office every day with her mind in turmoil and a chip on her shoulder. She was going through a protracted divorce, and the last thing she needed was for her boss, Paul, to make another stupid, time-consuming error in booking an event—a mistake that she would have to fix.

This was the last straw. Paul had booked a wedding at the facility some 6 months previously and had told no one. He had forgotten to write it down, he had forgotten to arrange for the flowers, he had forgotten to arrange for the extra chairs, he had forgotten to arrange for the parking attendants, he had forgotten to get an insurance binder—he had forgotten everything. On this day, the bride and groom showed up at noon with 150 of their closest friends: no flowers, no chairs, no nothing.

When Paul arrived at the center at Nancy’s urgent request that final day, he blamed everyone for his mistake—everyone but himself. Nancy had had enough; she walked out.

At 55, Nancy found herself newly single, unemployed, and scared to death.

Steve’s story:

Steve had been a patent attorney for 17 years. He went to law school because his father wanted him to go to law school, and he became a patent attorney because his father wanted him to become a patent attorney. He married, had two children, lived in a large house they could barely afford, drove expensive cars, and had an enormous amount of debt. To the outside world, Steve had the perfect lifestyle; on the inside, he was miserable living the life his father had always wanted.

Just after his fortieth birthday, Steve decided that he wanted to ratchet down his lifestyle, so without giving much thought to his values or where he wanted to be, he quickly got away from what he thought was making him crazy—he quit his job and became an eighth-grade history teacher.

After 5 months, Steve realized that he had made a huge mistake, and he had never been so scared or unhappy.

Tim’s story:

In August, Tim began a new job as VP of information technology in a San Francisco–based telecommunications firm. In September, the CEO, to whom Tim reported, unexpectedly quit. When the new CEO was brought in, Tim immediately knew that he had a challenge on his hands: This guy was tough, abrupt, and intimidating in his approach to his leadership team.

In early January, Tim noticed that his subordinate, James, was having weekly luncheon meetings with the CEO, yet Tim said nothing.

In March, the CEO asked Tim to review a PowerPoint presentation he had prepared to deliver to the board of directors—page 14 of which indicated that Tim should be replaced, as he was ineffective. Tim dutifully reviewed the PowerPoint presentation and said nothing.

In April, Tim was terminated and replaced by his subordinate, James. He was offered no package; he was given 2 weeks’ severance and shown the door.

Anne’s story:

In the months after the terrorist attacks in New York City, Anne gave a lot of thought to her career, her life, and her vision for her future. At 42, she was happily single and working as a senior marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company based in Manhattan. She had great friends, a great home, and a great job—yet something was missing. She hired me as her coach to help her find “it.”

We worked together to evaluate her life-balance status, to uncover her values, and to identify, eliminate, or leverage her needs. Although she had started her career in broadcast entertainment marketing in Los Angeles, she had been sidetracked by the terrific Manhattan opportunity. She realized that she was good at working as a senior marketing executive, and that she enjoyed most of her work there, yet the job did not use some of her talents and strengths that were important to her. Her coaching work helped her to put a name to the gap she had sensed; she knew exactly who she was, exactly what was missing, and exactly where she wanted to be going forward.

Anne planned her departure from her Manhattan position, arranged her finances to allow for a long-distance and possibly lengthy job hunt, planned and negotiated an exit strategy, and gave her employer 30 days’ notice. With a glowing reference, a targeted plan to get a job with one of the companies she admired, and a huge amount of courage, she began working at the job of getting a job.

Four months later, Anne landed a plum position with a major studio as vice president of marketing. She sold her East Coast home and purchased a new home in Los Angeles in the same area in which she grew up. She was closer to her family, she had found a job she loved, she was making more money, and she was having more fun. And she has never been happier.

Nancy, Steve, Tim, and Anne each realized that it was time to move on, yet each handled it differently: One departed in anger, one departed on a whim, one was in denial, and one made a plan and worked it. Each had the option of controlling what happened next, yet each experienced a different outcome.

Not every departure is as seamless as Anne’s. There are also the “not in my control” possibilities of separation or termination, including

1. You are ethical; your boss, the CFO, is not. You refuse to cook the books, and your employment is terminated.

2. Your skills are out of date; technology has passed you by, you have ignored requests to upgrade your skills, and your employer is tired of asking you to learn.

3. You are known to be difficult, pushy, abusive, and abrasive, and you have destroyed your reputation to the point of no return. You figured that you would have a lengthy run at this company because it needed your expertise so desperately. However, your employer finds it easier to ask you to leave than to continue to ask you to change, and you are shown the door.

4. Your relationship with your boss has been irretrievably damaged, and your rebound plan has not worked. With fear and trepidation about your reaction, your employer cuts you loose.

5. The company is in a fatal downward spiral, and while there have been no announcements, you know that it will not last another quarter.

6. The company has auditors in, completing due diligence in preparation for your firm’s purchase by a larger concern.

7. You have been “layered” (someone has been slipped into a position between you and your boss, effectively giving you a demotion).

Whichever your exit situation, you still have control of your next steps, which can make the difference between taking the first thing that comes your way and taking the best thing that you uncover. It is also the difference between encountering the same stifling workplace experiences yet again and finding the job that exactly fits your style, your skills, your values, and your vision for a life you love.

The following chapters outline a plan that you can use when it is time for you to move on—whether it is your decision or not.