The Victim Grooming Process


The essential tool a predator uses in grooming a victim is one of building up trust. The victim wants somebody to listen to him or her, to understand any self-doubts, to reassure them that they are beautiful, smart, or capable of being popular. To further ingratiate themselves, predators learn their victim's habits, likes, and dislikes and gain their confidence by pretending to share them.

The grooming process also frequently involves giving gifts. By sending gifts to the victim, a predator flatters and makes the victim feel special and somehow indebted.

Think About It

Like offline predators, most individuals attempting to exploit children through the Internet tend to gradually seduce their targets through the use of attention, affection, and gifts.


Another important part of the grooming process is for the predator to drive a wedge between the victim and others in his or her life. If a child, for example, feels his parents don't understand him, or won't let him do things he wants to do, the predator might not only provide that understanding and encouragement, but also enhance the child's sense of unfairness from his parents. This builds a psychological distance from the parents and a psychological dependency on the abuser, which in turn makes it easier for the abuser to continue to groom and/or abuse the child as the child's dependency on approval and support from the predator supersedes that of others. This then provides one rationale for the victim to keep the online relationship secret, and tolerate abuse rather than reach out to those who might protect them.



Look Both Ways. Help Protect Your Family on the Internet
Look Both Ways: Help Protect Your Family on the Internet
ISBN: 0735623473
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2004
Pages: 157
Authors: Linda Criddle

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