The Mentor Who Offers Mutual Respect

An essential ingredient in any mentoring relationship is mutual respect between the two partners. If the mentee does not respect and trust his or her mentor's opinions, advice and influence - and vice versa - the benefits from the relationship will be severely limited. Programme co-ordinators must remember that a mentee's attitude towards the mentor is inevitably influenced by the mentor's general reputation within the company.

To be more precise, the mentee will:

• assess the mentor's professional reputation by scrutinising his or her past performance; if a mentor has been involved with too many failed projects, the mentee is likely to feel that a close alliance with that person will do his or her career little good

• assess the mentor's interpersonal skills - for example, a mentee may feel that a rewarding relationship could not be established with a mentor who is heard of only through memos and telephone calls

• assess the mentor's status with his or her colleagues; if the mentor commands respect and esteem from peers, the mentee feels that his or her career will benefit from being associated with the mentor

• assess the mentor's corporate alliances; the mentee must believe that his or her mentor has enough influence in the organisation to make a tangible difference to his or her career.

This latter point illustrates yet again the evolution that has taken place in our thinking about mentoring since these words were first penned. The emphasis on career outcomes expressed here has now generally been balanced by an equal or greater emphasis on the personal development outcomes, which may or may not have a direct impact on career achievement. Respect within developmental mentoring comes less from an appreciation of what the mentor can do for the mentee than from what he or she can help the mentee do on his or her own.

Checklist - ideal characteristics to seek in a mentor

• Look for someone who:

• already has a good record for developing other people

• has a genuine interest in seeing younger people advance and can relate to their problems

• has a wide range of current skills to pass on

• has a good understanding of the organisation, how it works and where it is going

• combines patience with good interpersonal skills and an ability to work in an unstructured programme

• has sufficient time to devote to the relationship

• can command a mentee's respect

• has his or her own network of contacts and influence

• is still keen to learn.