Making The Connections

Mark Albion, a former Harvard Business School professor and author of the New York Times best-selling book, Making a Life, Making a Living (New York, Warner, 2000), tells the story of David Rockefeller, former CEO of Chase Manhattan Bank, flying off to Saudi Arabia each month to visit a particular client for lunch, a cup of tea, or often, because the client was so busy, only a few moments of conversation before Rockefeller would return to New York. Asked why he did not just make a phone call or plan the trip so that he could spend more time with the client, Rockefeller explained: “I want him to know how important he is to our bank and to me personally. I will continue to visit him every month” (“P2P: Person to Person,” by Mark Albion, Fast Company, August 2000).

Leaders who work hard to make personal connections with followers are taking a necessary step toward personal transparency—engaging others. Followers likely will not have the chance to know the “real person” unless their leader interacts with them. Although leaders may have many opportunities to engage with people, many often do not see value in casual conversations or friendly banter. Indeed, some move briskly down hallways, too intense about their work to take the time or make an effort even to say hello. These leaders are missing important opportunities to build trust. “Social skill is friendliness with a purpose,” says Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence (New York, Bantam, 1997). Leaders who engage and share themselves and their humanness often gain respect and loyalty and create caring and productive work communities.

In the small town of Pensacola, Florida, where Network Telephone is headquartered, employees are likely to see Chairman and CEO Ray Russenberger and his wife, Valerie, entertaining in the square, where the city hosts summer concerts; he plays the guitar and piano, and she sings.

Russenberger’s employees also know that he is one of Pensacola’s most successful self-made business owners. Prior to starting Network Telephone, an Internet and telephone service provider, he spent 13 years building a national paging company that was twice named as one of Inc. magazine’s “500 Fastest Private Companies” in the country. He eventually sold it, made a bundle, and has been growing Network Telephone ever since. He speaks openly about his humble beginnings— he has no college degree and once spent 6 years paying creditors after his first attempt at starting a business ended in failure. Russenberger also makes no bones about his lack of attention to detail, a weakness he believes that he should make clear to those with whom he works. One of the first things he told his new administrative assistant was, “Never give me an original of anything.” And to his executive team: “I’m not the person to ask for help on the details of a plan.” They also know not to expect him to be around on Wednesday afternoons; for the last 15 years, that time has been reserved for his five children. “People have to observe your value system,” he said. “You can’t just talk about it.” Although a little shy, Russenberger understands the importance of interacting with the 650 people of his organization not only while at work but also in social settings such as company barbeques or more spontaneous after-work gatherings. He is described by people as “one of us,” and employees trust that what Russenberger believes is good strategy for the company is also good for their future, too.

Creating personal connections with people is not about being bosom buddies. It is about allowing for opportunities to be transparent in a personal way, a way that reveals who you are and what you are really about. And a leader has to make time for those opportunities. Kathleen Holmgren, senior vice president of Sun Microsystem’s Network Storage Marketing Group, combines exercise with one-on-one sessions with her 12 direct reports. If you want to schedule time with Holmgren, bring your walking shoes. “I find that by getting out from behind the desk and going outside for a walk, not only do you get the business issues addressed, but you have a chance to really talk to them and get to know them better,” she said. Holmgren, who has been with Sun for 18 years, is part of the network services company’s Leadership Institute, an honor that indicates that she is in line to serve on CEO Scott McNealy’s staff. Sun had $12.5 billion in 2002 revenues and has 39,000 employees worldwide.

Connecting with followers through personal transparency does not require that you have some kind of aura or charisma. In leadership assessments, people’s comments indicate how it is the small things they appreciate:

• “Refreshingly approachable leader.”

• “She understands our human side.”

• “Doesn’t treat you like an employee.”

• “Greets us, engages in conversation, reflecting interest in us as individuals.”

• “Stops, smiles, and says hello.”

• “Knows every person’s name and something about them.”

• “Enjoys relationships with people who are not management and calls them by name.”

Leaders who ignore the “softer side” of the job are sometimes described as “arrogant” or “prickly” or as needing “a refresher course in people skills.” The real damage, however, can be seen in comments such as “I am uncomfortable around you,” “I don’t think we connect very well,” or “he constantly has his guard up, so I can never tell what he’s after.” These kinds of feelings likely will not translate into enthusiasm for work.

In surveys, more than half of 2197 people could not give their bosses the highest rating on being easy to talk to. And 76 percent of 1783 people said that their leaders were not entirely “authentic.” To be thought of as “real” and approachable, leaders must find their own style to make sincere connections. Some leaders have regular brown-bag luncheons with small groups. Others schedule weekly “walk-throughs” of the company, connecting with handshakes, quick conversations, or even just a wave and eye contact. A man I know who has had a very successful political career used to ask his three kids anytime they met someone: “What color eyes did he or she have?” He wanted to make certain that they were sharply focused on an individual in social interactions, not looking past the person or darting their eyes toward the ground or sky. Even more than remembering a person’s name after walking away, he wanted his children to look a person straight in the eyes and concentrate on them. He understood how really connecting—not just going through the motions and gestures of common courtesy—was crucial to establishing trust and rapport.

In surveys, more than half of 2197 people could not give their bosses the highest rating on being easy to talk to. And 76 percent of 1783 people said that their leaders were not entirely “authentic.”

When her mother became sick with cancer, Lynne shared the information with two people—her boss and a direct report who had just gone through a similar experience with a family member. “Sharing my struggle with my mom’s cancer with my direct report created a level of compassion between us, underscoring that while we were professionals who worked hard together, we were also people.” At her mother’s funeral, which was held in a different state, several hundred miles away, Lynne was surprised to look out in the church and see her boss in a pew. “I was so moved that he did that, and it really increased my respect for him,” she said. “He cared as much about me as a person as he did about me as a professional.”

Review the following checklist to see whether you are giving people opportunities to really know you:

___ I make a point to know the names of people in my organization.

___ I am comfortable making small talk with people at all levels.

___ Developing strong relationships with my peers is a high priority.

___ I have a good balance between job tasks and building relationships.

___ I know the personal interests of my peers and direct reports.

___ I enjoy the opportunity to meet socially with peers and often do.

___ I engage in casual conversation with people each day.

___ I often stop to talk to my colleagues’ administrative assistants before a scheduled meeting.

___ I usually know if something is troubling a person.

___ I make sure my team has offsite meetings.

___ My offsite meetings include social and recreational activities.