The Courage To Ask

At a Delta Air Lines social gathering, I asked a commercial pilot who had flown in Vietnam to give me an example of a time in his career when he was forced to dig deep for courage.

“Well, you know, I have a lot to think about,” he said. “Let me mull this over for about 30 minutes, and I’ll get back to you.”

Sure enough, he returned a little while later with his answer. I anticipated an awesome war story. What I got was this: “When I have just made one of the worst landings in my entire career and I then have to stand at the door of the aircraft and shake hands with 250 people who might just tell me what they thought of my performance, that takes tremendous courage. Sometimes I stay in the cockpit and tie my shoes two or three times to let the first 100 people walk out.”

Not an exciting battle tale, but there is a good lesson in there. No matter how open to criticism we think we are, our egos never like to hear it. We like to be right, and we do not like to be challenged. When we are told something that is contrary to the beliefs we have about ourselves, we naturally become defensive. If you ask others for information about yourself, they might oblige. Can you handle it?

Leaders who stand forward, ask for feedback, and maybe even make a positive change gain respect and credibility through transparency. They also inspire others to do the same and promote a spirit of collaborative self-development. There is great power in simply asking others for input.