Creative Solution

Both the "friendship" and the "distance" approaches have their plusses and minuses. So what is the best approach? Perhaps a compromise between the two is the safest style. There are some executives who seem to have developed relationships with subordinates and coworkers that allow them to enjoy the best of both scenarios. They get the positive attitude spawned by friendship and the discipline that tends to grow out of corporate formality. Interestingly, the people who have achieved this balance tend to come from either the most open and creative professional disciplines, such as the entertainment industry, or the most rigid professions, such as the military. But their advice would seem to be instructive in the more traditional business world as well.

On the entertainment side, Sheryl Crow, Chris Lloyd, and Earl Graves (who are at the top of the music, television, and publishing industries respectively) made some interesting and similar observations in this regard. Crow works with musicians, singers, roadies, and engineers with the objective of producing a highly creative song or concert. Graves and Lloyd work with talented writers who are paid to come up with uniquely creative ideas. But all of that unstructured creativity has to be channeled into producing a final, highly structured product—a twelve-song record, a monthly magazine, a thirty-minute sitcom. Imposing structure on creative impulses requires the development of professional relationships that carefully balance a sense of familial emotion with one of professional organization.

Here is how they do it. First and foremost, "Everyone has to know who is the boss," says Earl Graves. There can be no pretense that everyone is equal in terms of where they are in the organization. If you tell everyone that there are no differences between you and them, they feel no need or sense of urgency to do what you tell them to do. That can be a tough way to manage people—especially in a creative field. Lloyd agrees. Writers putting together a sitcom story line need to know that the executive producer makes the final decision relative to disagreements in the direction that the story is going, and after the decision is made, people must channel their creative energies in the direction that the executive producer dictates. In order to achieve this discipline within a creative endeavor, employees should never be allowed to cultivate the false premise that everyone on the job is equal or equally important. It is just not true. If it were, nothing would ever get done. Sheryl Crow said virtually the same thing: "I am running the business.... I am the one calling the shots."

This kind of buy-in to the hierarchy is, of course, the lynchpin of a military organization as well. "Everyone has to show a total understanding and commitment to the relative ranks of the people in the organization," a special operations officer told me during my stint as a federal prosecutor. However, even a military officer agrees that bosses who simply proclaim their higher position and then demand deference are rarely successful over the long term. "There is an important difference between having subordinates who show deference and having subordinates who exhibit true respect," the officer noted. Haughty officers who constantly remind their soldiers who is the boss get soldiers who are deferential—meaning that the employees treat them with an Eddie Haskell-like, phony sense of respect. Behind the scenes, however, employees with bosses who demand deference make snide comments, cut corners, and scan the want ads.

That is where the personal element finds its limited but important place in the professional hierarchy. You earn the respect of your employees, not only by showing professional skill and accomplishment, but also by showing personal and genuine concern for their well-being. For example, Lieutenant General Sams agrees that "there needs to be a clear dividing line between the commander and the troops." However, he also recognizes the extreme importance of making personal connections with the people working for you. How does he do it? "The best way to make a person feel good about himself or herself," according to General Sams, "is to pick up the phone, call that person's spouse, and tell their spouse what a great job the person is doing. In fact, if you keep a little distance—which you really have to do in the military and ought to do in other fields too—then when you do make that call to the spouse, it means a lot more. If you are out there having beers with them every day and trying to be liked, the call actually means less."

Sheryl Crow has a similar viewpoint. She notes that when you take a crew out on the road with you, "in a way it is a bit like a company because you are asking people to give a piece of themselves. And you want them to feel comfortable, to give the best of themselves.... So my touring band, I think they feel well appreciated, but at the same time, they know who is the boss."

Bill Marriott agrees. He notes that "if you take good care of your employees, they will take good care of the customer." This is not a calculating process. Your motives must be sincere. You learn about your employees out of a true appreciation for those whose professional lives are at least in part devoted to supporting you.

Perhaps Earl Graves put the concept most succinctly when he said, "I do not try to make employees members of my family. I try to keep a certain distance because familiarity all the time is not the best approach to business. But I do get involved. I take an interest in their careers and families. If you do those kinds of things for people, they are going to be there for you."