Mnemonics

Nobody appreciates the importance of memories more than Madison Avenue. The job of advertising is to create Kodak moments to evoke memories of a particular product. However, messing with people's memories by associating rock classics with products is not only a cultural offense, it's an indication of how far creativity has sunk in the ad biz since Bill Backer's era. By sucking the blood out of old rock hits instead of composing original classics like "It's The Real Thing," the true nature of the beast has been revealed. Creatively bankrupt, Madison Avenue has become a cultural vampire!

I knew the Little Rascals personally ! I don't want to think of Vioxx when I hear It's a Beautiful Morning. And when Vertical Horizon sings The Best I Ever Had, I don't want to think of a damn Nissan pickup truck! I think Madison Avenue is playing mind games , and I consider it an invasion of my privacy! The list of rock stars who have sold their souls goes on and on.

• Bob Seger, Like a Rock , Chevy Trucks

• Led Zeppelin, Rock and Roll , Cadillac CTS

• REO Speedwagon, Roll with the Changes , General Motors

• Jethro Tull, Thick as a Brick , Hyundai

• Sting, Desert Rose , Jaguar

• Meatloaf, Paradise by the Dashboard Light , General Motors

• Celine Dion, I Drove All Night (Roy Orbison cover), Chrysler

I just deleted all of my Sting MP3s! Seriously, I don't want to hear another song from these artists ever again. Dolling up commercials with rock classics began with Microsoft, oddly enough, when they used the Rolling Stones'

Start Me Up as the signature soundtrack for their Windows 95 launch. Microsoft's bold (and expensive) foray into rock'n roll was reported as hard news at the time. Then, in 1997, Wieden and Kennedy used the Beatles' Revolution 1 in a Nike commercial. I didn't object to either of those spots because they were musical breakthroughs. I also enjoyed the original Bob Seger Like a Rock Chevy truck campaign.