Chapter 8 The Night They Ripped the Seats out at the Four Square Gospel Hall
Maestro Colli Albani, as I'm sure you have garnered, dear reader, is a man above other men in learning, insight, forthrightness and furrowing (he's won the Finest Furrower First Prize twice, over the years and there are no other musicologists who even bothered entering the contest).
However, it's a little-known fact that, in his youth, he was also, among all of his other monumental accomplishments, an innovative, avant-garde, nay even radical composer. I'll never forget the night he premiered his early work, albeit experimental, called:
Hog Calls and Hens In Heat:
An instrumental and choral fantasy
scored for
2 flutes (for the premi re there was only one, as Bythinia got cramps)
5 trombones (from the Junior Boys Spelunking Marching Band)
1 sow (Irene the McNullought's)
2 overturned washtubs (ours!)
3 hens (the O'Rority's)
2 police whistles (stolen)
1 pail of lard (which never got used due to what happened)
