Give it back

Purpose

The purpose of this activity is to provide an opportunity to practise negotiation and influencing skills. It can also be used to help consider the effects of different behaviours, preferred communication styles and conflict management.

Resources

This lasts up to 30 minutes. No equipment is required.

Notes to the coach

This activity involves you taking a possession that is valuable to the coachee, and refusing to give the item back until the coachee has used some ˜magic words . Generally the coachee will guess these words eventually, but you might need to be very patient. How the coachee deals with this exercise will be a topic for discussion and you may be able to relate it to his or her behaviour back in the work place or in certain circumstances.

Instructions

Ask the coachee to give you something of value to him or her, such as a watch, wallet or car keys. Tell the coachee that he or she can only have it back if he or she uses the ˜magic words . Explain that no physical contact is allowed! The magic words (which obviously you don t tell the coachee) are ˜What do I need to do to get my x back? . Note both how the coachee reacts to this as well as his or her strategies for getting the item back.

Once the coachee has got the item back, explore together why he or she did or said particular things, the impact it had on you and how it relates to the coachee s situation. Draw out the learning for inclusion in the action plan.