Rapport building


Rapport is built with other people when they feel as if you understand their view of the world and have respect for it. In neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) there are a number of ideas for developing rapport. Let s look at some factors that will aid the building of rapport.

Effective non-verbal communication

As a coach your non-verbal communication will be the key factor in ensuring that rapport is built with the coachee . Excellent communicators build rapport by paying conscious attention to the use of body language, tone of voice and facial expressions. Rapport may be built by matching the following areas with the interviewee:

  • Posture. The position of the body, the legs and feet and weight distribution. The position of the arms, hands and fingers. The way in which the shoulders are held. The inclination of the head.

  • Expression . The direction and movement of the eyes.

  • Breathing. The rate of breathing and position of breathing , ie chest or abdomen.

  • Movement. This refers to the pace at which the other person moves and the rhythm of their movements.

  • Voice. Pace, volume, pitch, tone and type of words that are used.

  • Language patterns. The use of language that is visual ( ˜I see , ˜I look at it this way ), auditory ( ˜I hear , ˜It sounds like ) or feelings-based ( ˜I feel , ˜The impact of this is. . . ).

Matching these areas in a subtle way gives the message to the coachee that you are like them, that you understand ˜where he or she is coming from and in turn this will help the interviewee to relax and open up to your questioning.

A person-centred approach

In building rapport with your coachee you must always bear in mind that you are dealing with another human being, an individual who has his or her own needs, wants and experiences.

Maslow identified, in Motivation and Personality (1954), that we all have a set of basic human needs:

  • Physiological stability. The need for sufficient food, water and oxygen .

  • Safety and security. The need for shelter.

  • Love and belonging . The need for companionship.

  • Esteem, competence and prestige. The need for recognition and achievement.

  • Self-actualization. The need to become what one is capable of becoming.

When coaching, it is important to consider the lower level needs such as food, water, temperature etc since it is these things that may distract both coach and coachee. If either party is hungry, thirsty or requires a ˜ comfort break , the focus will not be on the process.

Equally the coach must bear in mind the higher level needs. The coachee will wish to feel accepted and respected at all times “ without this the individual will not be able to consider his or her development needs and how these may be met. These needs must be satisfied if the individual is to feel comfortable enough to give information honestly and openly.

A successful coach will adopt an attitude of empathy, acceptance, respect and interest towards the coachee. This attitude will be communicated in the ways already discussed and will encourage the coachee to respond positively.

One of the most important parts of the person-centred approach is the ability to adopt what was termed by Carl Rogers ˜unconditional positive regard . This is about treating each individual as a valuable human being, whose experiences are valid and accepted. It is also about recognizing that everybody has different views of the world; a group of 10 people who have watched exactly the same play will all have very different recollections and ideas about what they have seen.

When considering different views and experiences, objectivity will be key. A phrase which is worth remembering in trying to maintain objectivity is ˜not right or wrong, only different .




The Coaching Handbook. An Action Kit for Trainers & Managers
Coaching Handbook: An Action Kit for Trainers and Managers
ISBN: 074943810X
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 130

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