Domestic Disputes

Domestic incidents are the most unpredictable negotiations because they are driven by emotion. These usually involve people who are married, living together, or are family members. The fact that these incidents are driven by emotions rather than greed or religious belief makes them extremely dangerous. More police officers are hurt and injured each year handling domestic and family disputes than any other call they respond to. A hostage taking where the taker is emotionally connected to the hostage makes for a very bad mix. During these incidents it is very common for the hostage taker to degrade his hostage (usually his wife or girlfriend) in every way possible.

One of the most important things that negotiators have to do here is reinstate the hostage’s dignity in the eyes of the hostage taker. The negotiator cannot qualify or join in with the hostage taker’s feelings toward his captive. This is certainly not the time to show the taker empathy by telling him, “I know exactly how you feel, I have one just like her at home.”

Even if you do!

Hey, just kidding. Lighten up.