Zero In on Conflicts

In hostage negotiations, sooner or later you have to bring up the difficult subject, to tell the guy: “You have to surrender, which means you’re going to jail.”

Now, we don’t dwell on that second part in negotiating. The jail thing is not a real big plus, so we try to leave it in the background as much as possible. We don’t deny it; we don’t lie. But a negotiator is not under any obligation to advertise the downside of his proposed settlement. Besides, in most cases, we can safely assume that the guys on the other side of the barricade know that’s the end result of surrendering.

I doubt that any business negotiation has as difficult a sticking point. After all, the alternative in most business situations is walking away and finding a deal elsewhere. In a hostage situation, the alternative to jail is a pine box with a whole bunch of dirt on top of you.

How do we deal with this difficult negotiating point, this conflict to end all conflicts?

Directly. One of the first questions we usually ask after we’ve established rapport is simply: “Will you come out?”

You do get some interesting responses the first time you ask it, I’ll admit. Although, more than one suspect has simply laid down his weapon at that point and come out, hands exactly where we’ve told them to be.

Mostly, surrender is a difficult issue you come back to over and over. As everyday negotiations proceed, difficult points tend to accumulate. They become the heart of the negotiation—and the basis of the deal. You work on these issues—“problems” sounds a bit negative, no?—and create a solution.

A win-win solution, if you like the trendy terminology.