How do I completely remove a user? The REVOKE command just eliminates the privileges.
To completely remove a user from the privilege table, you have to issue a specific DELETE query from the user table in the mysql database.
What if I tell my Internet service provider to stop running MySQL as root, and it won't?
Switch providers. If your Internet service provider doesn't recognize the risks of running something as important as your database as the root user, and doesn't listen to your request, find another provider. There are providers with plans as low as $2.95/month (or even free!) that don't run important processes as the root user.