Personal Principles

The following principles guide my own use of the ten-step process. It's taken me a long time in my journey to learn them, value them, and apply them. You don't need to believe them to follow the process and get good results. I offer them because I have found them helpful and perhaps you will, too.

1. Each of us is valued and valuable. The creative spirit alive within us loves each person fully, passionately, and unconditionally. No one is inherently more worthy than anyone else. Therefore, we are to honor and respect each person. We are not to put down or devalue anyone. Everyone who has a stake in a decision can participate in a way that reflects her or his inherent value. While we each have preferences, no person has preferential status.

2. Each of us is free to change. We do not need to score points with one another, defend past positions, or otherwise prove our worthiness. Similarly, we don't need to explain why we approached decisions the way we did in the past or worry about losing face to change what we are doing now.

3. Life is abundant. Even amid physical scarcity and deprivation, we can live abundantly—we can be fully alive to the mysteries and joys of life. We may not get what we want, but we can get what we need—the opportunity to exercise our talents, be respected and valued, and appreciate the wonder of life itself. The universe is a friendly place full of creative possibilities if we are willing to live in harmony with it rather than impose our own wills upon it.

4. Hopes, not fears and expectations, can guide us. Hopes attract and unleash positive, enduring energy. In contrast, fears and expectations offer a quick adrenaline rush but then diminish and drain energy. Hopes are not bound by current "realities"—they transcend them.

5. We don't have to do all the work. Traditional views of the rugged, self-reliant individual feed our egos and our desire for self-importance and control. But they do not fit with the interdependent world in which we live. Further, many people find help from their religious beliefs and seek guidance through reflection and prayer.

6. Cooperation, not competition, wins. Glorifying competition and conflict denies our shared humanity. "Survival of the fittest," "ruthless competition," and other supposedly Darwinian notions rampant in our social and business structures fail to reflect that cooperation is our highest calling. Cooperation with one another and with the deeper spirit within us is our best avenue for growth and fulfillment. Contrary to a common cultural assumption, conflict is not necessary.

   Whether you believe in and follow these principles or choose others (or choose no formal set of principles), I encourage you to experiment with the ten-step process. See what works for you and your group and discover the many benefits the process offers. If you follow its straightforward steps, it will positively change both your outlook and your way of working with others. It will help you make great decisions.