Three Powerful Techniques


The key theme of all three techniques is to appeal to people's better nature. Help them get out of the box of expectations that keeps them from participating in an inclusive and constructive process and stymies the possibility of achieving productive results. In addition, you must accomplish this without raising your colleagues' fears about loss of control. The following persuasive techniques will help you get better results when you're not in charge.

Technique #1: Invite People to Try a Different Approach

John's fledgling high-tech company had its back against the wall. A new software release was late. Cash was running out. Investors and creditors demanded results.

Amid these fears, John drove his management team crazy. He called meetings to discuss business issues and then dominated the discussion. This frustrated other participants, and the group failed to get to the real issues. Even John became disgruntled. "The managers won't take ownership of problems and aren't coming up with the ideas we need to solve them," he complained. In short, he suffered from his own need to control everything. His response to a mounting fear of failure was to clamp down on his company like a vise.

Fortunately, Sarah, one of the managers in the company, found a nonthreatening way to speak privately with John in advance of a meeting. She suggested that, to uncover the underlying issues, John simply identify the topic and then ask each person to share his or her thoughts about it—Step #3 in the ten-step process. John agreed that something needed to change. He followed Sarah's idea to keep the discussion moving so that no one dominated the session.

Sarah's simple initiative shifted the management team's dynamics. Team members participated more, accepted responsibility, and began to resolve key issues. "My team's starting to gel and produce results," John said excitedly. Sarah's tactful way of addressing the situation not only earned her added respect from John and the team but also created a new openness in communication that unleashed a flood of creativity. Soon, the management team had a new data storage system for a promising international market and attracted additional capital.

Control-oriented people like John generally resist someone directly challenging their authority or the way they do things. Such people are unlikely to directly adopt a new system of discussing and deciding tough issues, regardless of the process's proven effectiveness.

To sell them on the concept, you don't need to sell them on the entire process or even advocate it as a new process. Instead, you can follow Sarah's lead and take a simple action to introduce steps subtly and effectively. Sarah didn't change John's personality; she tweaked the way the team discussed issues so that the better side of John's personality emerged. This new approach halted the fear-driven cycle that had the company careening toward destruction.

Opportunities abound to do small things that make a big difference. No matter what role you play, you can improve situations. Express your invitations in ways that use the positive appeal of each step to attract interest. You may wish to outline one or two steps at a time so that the process doesn't seem too threatening or overwhelming.

To help you toward your goal, Table 4 offers everyday language and commonsense appeals that you can use to encourage others to step through the process with you. Like Sarah, you can find a tactful and convincing way to introduce the steps.

Table 4: Inviting Ways to Encourage Use of the Ten-Step Process

PROCESS OR STEP

PERSUASIVE LANGUAGE YOU CAN USE

Overall Ten-Step Process

Let's bring everyone together to discuss this issue. We can follow a few steps that will get us through the discussion productively.

Step #1: Enlist Everyone

Whom can we involve who knows something about this issue or will need to participate in a decision about it or in its implementation? Each person is important to get real results.

Step #2: Discover Shared Hopes

Before we get started or anyone jumps to specific solutions, let's spend a few minutes to hear what each person hopes will result from the effort and why that's important.

Step #3: Uncover the Real Issues

You know, I'm not sure that the issue is really clear. It might be exactly as you've said, but let's explore it a little further. How about if we each take a few moments to express our thoughts and concerns about the topic? Before the next person speaks, let's have that person paraphrase what the previous speaker said so that we know that we've really heard it clearly.

Step #4: Identify All Options

It's good brainstorming to get lots of options out on the table before we discuss any in detail. We can go around the group and have each person offer an option that might help fulfill what we hope to accomplish. Let's not repeat anything or start agreeing or disagreeing.

Step #5: Gather the Right Information

Rather than gather information about each option on its own, we can organize our efforts by our hopes and look at all of the options from the perspective of what we really want to accomplish. That way, we will work together and efficiently collect the information we need.

Step #6: Get Everything on the Table

We could save a lot of time and debate if we went around the group and had everyone state something that might be negative about each option and afterward the potential positives. I'm sure that we could each find something to say both pro and con about each option without repeating one another. It will take us only a few minutes to hear everyone's perspectives, and we'll avoid divisive debates. We're also likely to think of even better options.

Step #7: Write Down Choices that Support Shared Hopes

Let's find out what each person candidly thinks about the choices. Each person can list what looks best to fulfill our hopes and any acceptable alternatives. This straw ballot will give us a quick look at possible solutions.

Step #8: Map Solutions

We can tabulate the results on a flip chart or piece of paper to see where all of the options sorted out. Then we can look at possible ways to improve upon the most attractive alternatives and find a solution that everyone will support.

Step #9: Look Ahead

Before we rush off to implement our solution, we need a backup plan and early opportunities to see how our solution performs and compares with acceptable alternatives.

Step #10: Stay Charged Up

People did a great job of listening to one another and searching for solutions that will serve the best interests of the group. Let's bring everyone together and hear from people about how the results support the hopes we share. It's time to celebrate what we've accomplished and encourage people to continue working together effectively.

Technique #2: Offer Choices and Let Others Choose

When you encounter people who want to control decisions or actions, offer them choices. Identify two or more options that work for you and your group's objectives and then let them choose among them. For example, say, "Shall we gather the team members and other potential sources of information to discuss this topic today or at a time later this week?"

It's like offering a child who doesn't like vegetables the choice between broccoli and peas. This allows the child to control the choice, but you have the satisfaction that he or she is eating vegetables. Give people choices, and they'll more readily cooperate with you.

Technique #3: Interrupt Behavioral Patterns That Aren't Working

Workers assume that leaders and managers intentionally behave as they do. The reality is that most people in charge are not fully conscious of their self-limiting behaviors. Others want to change their behavior but don't know how.

Sometimes even small changes can improve interpersonal dynamics. Try sitting in a different place, or suggest a creative teamwork game to start the meeting. Another alternative is to offer a story.

For example, I once told a story about playing tennis to a team of high-strung, overwrought executives. They wanted to perform better, and the divisive dynamics in their group frustrated them. I described how I struggled with my tennis game and pored over books with new techniques and tips—all to no avail. Then I tried The Inner Game of Tennis (Random House, 1974) by Tim Gallwey, who encourages developing nonjudgmental awareness of how the ball moves.

I described Gallwey's simple practice of saying "bounce" when the ball bounced and "hit" when I wanted to hit it. At first it seemed silly. Nonetheless, I continued to focus on the ball and trust that my body would perform. Soon, I outscored others who had consistently beaten me, and I did it with just a fraction of the effort I had previously expended. The exercise shifted my attention from my fears—"I'm going to miss another one! I'm going to lose this game!"—to the simple observation of how the ball moved and my intention about when to hit it.

Fears take our eyes off the ball in business as well as in tennis. We need people to remind us to stay focused on our hopes and to adhere to a process that helps us follow through.

When the management team applied the practice of nonjudgmental awareness to the way they interacted with one another, they observed each other's management style and discussed ways to honor their differences. The process shifted their behavior more quickly and effectively than further talk about management techniques would have. By changing their usual pattern, the managers found positive ways to work together.

Small, persuasive actions can yield significant results, even when you're not in charge. They also are fun. Once you start employing them as a team, you'll build your confidence that you can change almost any situation. And as long as you don't judge others and trigger their defense mechanisms, everyone will welcome your initiatives. The key to persuasive action is to introduce change without prompting participants to feel that what they've been doing is wrong. Instead of looking for an ego victory at the expense of others, use these productive techniques to make everyone a winner.

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BE AN AGENT OF HOPE

Step into your power to positively change the dynamics in even the toughest situations. Introduce the ten steps cautiously, with language and an approach that doesn't threaten those who are in charge. Remember that control is an illusion. Deep down, everyone knows it.

Let the intrinsic appeal of the process work with you. When you lead with what truly are your shared hopes, you'll have the strength to guide your group forward to productive results.

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How Great Decisions Get Made. 10 Easy Steps for Reaching Agreement on Even the Toughest Issues
How Great Decisions Get Made: 10 Easy Steps for Reaching Agreement on Even the Toughest Issues
ISBN: 0814407935
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 112
Authors: Don Maruska

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