Seeing consensus is characterized by presenting one’s own concerns, while also listening to and respecting the other person’s concerns. In seeking a consensus, you are looking to solve your conflict in a way that will satisfy both parties’ concerns. The more checks you have in the “Hold out” section of the Checklist: Conflict Management Approaches, the more likely that the issue makes it worth struggling to satisfy the concerns of both parties.
This is in contrast to compromising, in which you give up something to get something. While the result of compromising may feel fair to the parties in conflict, usually one or both parties had to give up something that they thought was important. Compromise may be the most expedient way to settle the conflict if one or more parties can check off items in the “Don’t deal with it” or the “Give in” section of the Checklist: Conflict Management Approaches.
Refer to Chapter 6 for tips on how to reach consensus when it is appropriate.