Chapter 12: Communication: Think with the Mind, Say it From the Heart

It seems rather incongruous that in a society of super-sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

—Erma Bombeck,
humorist

What Is Communication?

There are many ways to define communication. The simplest definition is simply to "make known." Another definition is "to give or interchange thoughts, feelings, information, or the like, by writing, speaking, signs, etc." To me, communication is making connections. Take Helen Keller for instance. She wasn't able to communicate until she learned to connect objects with words. But she didn't stop there. Despite the fact that her physical senses may have been limited, she used her whole self to make connections with others.

Those are the connections that are the foundation for effective communication. It is part of a cycle: The more you connect with people, the stronger your communication becomes; the stronger your communication, the better you connect with people. So how do you go about strengthening those connections? By spreading value and by concentrating on what you can add to a situation, as opposed to what you can get from it. When you do this, you find that people are more receptive to you, they want to listen to you, be with you, and work with you because of the value you're adding.

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
author