Step 6: Seek Refuge

For some people, this step means going to a place, such as a house in the country, a favorite retreat, or even a room within one’s home. For others, it means activity—everything from sports, to art, to other forms of release. For still others, it means meditation, yoga, prayer, or down time. Though these retreats vary, they all provide a place for people to escape and re-energize. A number of the leaders we interviewed noted that these places or activities allowed them to separate themselves from the turmoil in their jobs or their lives. It was liberating for them not to have to think about work or a difficult aspect of their personal life for a few hours or days, and it was critical for them to develop the sense of distance and detachment that leads to greater objectivity.

The passages are intense, and leaders can only endure so much intensity before it becomes counterproductive. In order to lead, you need to manage your energy, and thus you need a temporary escape. When you return, you will have more energy to focus on the issues that the passages brought to the surface and greater insight into the demands placed on you and what needs to be done; you will be less likely to escape in counterproductive ways such as denial or addictions, or in blaming others.