Section 5: Try to Help Others Be More Effective and Look Good

Overview

Matthew was one of the top performers in his division––productive, fast learner, hard working. Unfortunately, he made a point of promoting himself in front of others by giving the impression he had a larger role in his team’s success than was true.

His teammates, one by one, began to hold back from helping Matthew. Not in large ways, certainly, but in ways that mattered. From their point of view, it was only fair so they would get ample recognition for their own skills and contributions.

Matthew had a hard time figuring out why he felt more and more isolated. It’s not that others were unfriendly or dishonest, exactly. . . . Work just wasn’t as fun or easy as it was when he started. He transferred to a different group, and a year later, he started to have the same feelings again. He was inwardly miserable, even though his manager still valued Matthew’s work.

We have all become weary and wary of people who shamelessly self-promote, even if their claims have some credibility. People who take this approach believe publicity is more important than contribution. Matthew fell into this trap, and he failed to make the connection with his teammates’ negative responses. If he doesn’t change the way he supports his team, he may become even more bitter and isolated.

A much better approach is to invest your efforts into recognition of the contributions of others and make others look good. They will tend to return the recognition of your value, sometimes to a surprising degree.

Many spiritual philosophies teach that good deeds will be returned many times over. Giving to others is a powerful way to attract support, directly or indirectly. Healthy trust is built upon people who are willing to support each other without expecting a specific return.

People will quickly sense if you praise meaningless contributions, so it is vital to be absolutely honest about this. You can help ensure people make important contributions by helping them be effective. If you are a manager this will be an important part of your role. You can play an important role in helping co-workers, partners, or your boss make true contributions and be more successful.

It is called giving to others with no particular expectation of receiving anything in return. Help others because it creates the kind of supportive environment where you would like to work, one where people energize and help each other.

Keith Ferrazzi is a master of networking described in Inc. magazine (Raz, “The 10 Secrets of a Master Networker,” January 2003.) He draws amazing power and influence from actively building connections to people around the world. And one of his rules is “don’t keep score.” When you push too hard for an immediate return from a relationship, you fail in the long run. When you give generously of your time and help, others will want to be generous to you in the future. That is the way relationships work.

I've discovered that the businesspeople who are the busiest, the happiest, and the most prosperous are the ones who are the most generous with their knowledge and their expertise.

—Tim Sanders, Yahoo Chief Solutions Officer, in Fast Company magazine