Booking Agents

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Booking Agents

Of course, if all of the above sounds like a hell of a lot of work, it is. A booking agent will do it for you and usually charge 15 percent of your gross to do so. But they usually won't deal with you until you have a following, and hell, your band might break up by then. If you do it yourself, you'll at least get to go on one tour and not miss this important coming of age ritual of growing up in modern society.

But booking agents already have the contacts, deal with the same clubs every day, and have relationships with the bookers. Some booking agents will deal with bands that aren't proven yet by charging money up front. This is not very reputable, but might be the only way. A compromise might be to offer to put up a $300 deposit to cover expenses until you get on the road. It does cost them time and money to book you, and they don't know if you'll even be together when it comes time to tour. Bands break up a lot, usually because they have unrealistic expectations and people get frustrated when the Universe does not instantly grant their wishes.

Some booking agents will book shows that will send you on long drives to play for people who may not like you simply because they get a percentage on each booking. It's easier for a booking agent to just look at a map and see a long drive and make a phone call than it is for you to have to actually make the drive. And if you're a pop band, you might not want to get booked on a punk bill, but if your agent gets her cut either way, you might get booked like that. (See the Steve Albini interview on the Extras section of the D.I.Y. or DIE DVD for more on this.)

You approach a booking agent the same way you approach anyone you want to do business with: make a call or send a short letter with that all-important press kit and CD, and follow up and ask them nicely .

You can ask other bands for recommendations of who they book through. If they're your friends and have faith in you, they might even put in a good word.

If you're really happening scene-wise, packin' 'em in, the booker will probably approach you . Just beware of slick promises and don't sign long- term contracts with anyone who can't deliver something huge. And even then, don't sign longterm contracts. The way bookers work is, if they do a great job, you'll go back again and again. They don't need to force you to do so in writing. It's all relationships, like anything in the entertainment business.

NOTE

Don't forget to thank people, anyone who helps youclubs, bookers, radio DJs, writers, fans, friends, everyone. Take lots of pictures, keep a journal. Get out and stretch, run around the parking lot, don't eat too much junk food, and be sure to buy lots of postcards to send home to everyone.

If you're paid a percentage of the door and not a guarantee, and you don't make much, you're stuck with it. You can ask for a little more, but don't whine.

If you do have a money guarantee, and they claim they didn't make it and can't pay you, make them pay it. Have them empty out the pool table or cigarette machine. They shouldn't make real written guarantees if they can't pay them. Don't take a check; don't accept "come back tomorrow"; get paid before you leave. If they seem like Mafioso types and pull some power crap on you, calmly tell them you know the headlining bands they have listed next month (if you do) and you'll tell those bands that the club doesn't pay up. Play hardball only if you have to, but play if you need to and it looks like it might help.

One good thing about working with a booking agent is that since she deals with the same club bookers all the time, the clubs are less likely to screw you if you came through someone who brings them a lot of business than if you book yourself.

NOTE

AlphaSmart

I don't do paid endorsements, but I will wholeheartedly advise the use of something that works for me. I highly recommend that if you're going on tour you check out AlphaSmart.com. They have two products that might be highly useful for the traveling literate artist. The AlphaSmart is a durable little portable word processor that weighs two pounds , costs 200 bucks, runs 300 hours on three AA batteries, and saves text as soon as you turn it off. It also saves and shuts off automatically after a few minutes of inactivity. I am typing on one right now. I typed this whole chapter on one, in the back of a van on the way to go see some friends in San Francisco. The AlphaSmart is great if, like me, most of what you do on a computer is just typing text.

I love writing technical manuals on a device made for small children.

Sometimes people laugh at it and say, "Is that a toy?" They start bragging about and show me their Pentium IV, 3 GHz laptop. I say, "What do you do with it?" and they don't even really know. They can't give me a concrete answer. And I say, "I'm working on a really good book that will change people's lives and it's already sold." They stop laughing. One particularly annoying blank corporate food tube was trying to cut me down on a plane and going on and on about his "advanced spreadsheet capability." This prompted me to retort, "At least I'm doing something interesting with my life."

I especially love the AlphaSmart's "no boot time, no shut-down time, no need to hit save" feature, because I think and write in spurts. I tend to turn an AlphaSmart on, type a paragraph (or even just a sentence ), and turn it off. I will do that five or ten times in one airplane or car trip.

I actually just accidentally proved the premise of that last paragraph as I wrote it. I am in the Dallas airport and was waiting for the train that goes from one terminal to the next. It arrived as I was typing. I turned it off, threw it in my bag, jumped on the train (that only stops for about 45 seconds), and started typing as soon as I got on the train. Try that, even with the fastest laptop.

AlphaSmarts are way lighter than a laptop, which is cool because you don't have to think, "Am I going to need this today?" and decide whether or not to take it when you leave the house. A six-pound laptop will be a burden after eight hours of running around. A two- pound AlphaSmart will barely be noticed.

The AlphaSmart Dana, which lists for $399 ($469 with a modem), is sort of an AlphaSmart on steroids. It is the same size and weight as an AlphaSmart but runs on a Palm OS, so it can do a lot more. It can run spreadsheets, do e-mail, do formatted word processing, and play games (great for long drives). And it can (slowly) surf the Web. It's way cheaper and lighter than a laptop and runs 25 hours on a charge (the most any laptop runs is about 6 hours, and even that's rare).

The next model is even going to be enabled for wireless use.

AlphaSmarts and Danas both can upload text easily to a computer via infrared, USB, or through a keyboard port that will load into any application, including the oldest computer running DOS, but even better on any Windows or Mac application. They will even work with Linux-based systems. They also boot up and close down almost instantly, so if you find yourself with two minutes to kill somewhere, you can be typing while most laptops will still be booting.

I love these devices and have one of each.

If you get one, get the carrying case, too. I also add a piece of Plexiglas inside the case to offer a little protection against bumps.

Figure 16.13. I wrote some of this book on this AlphaSmart.

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