Getting Along

[ LiB ]

Getting Along

A tour is a good test of whether or not you want to keep playing music with these people. Some folks' true coloration doesn't surface until you've smelled their socks and farts in a van for a few weeks. It immediately becomes obvious who the creep is. And like a four-way marriage , everyone's petty jealousies and annoying pecca-dilloes will become less, not more, tolerable with time. It really separates the women from the little girls .

Of course, most bands have two people who fit the asshole/pussy formula. It's often the two main songwriters. A lot of great creative pairs consist of one asshole and one pussy.

Jagger, pussy. Richards, asshole.

McCartney, pussy. Lennon, asshole.

Jones, Pussy. Strummer, asshole.

In Bomb, Tony Fag was the asshole and I was the pussy.

I love Tony now that I'm not in a band with him. We should do commercials for the phone company keeping in touch to talk about the good old days. Okay, maybe not. But I do like him now that I'm not in a van with him.

NOTE

Bring earplugs and eye shades [2.] everywhere. I once did a whole tour with eye shades on. When I wasn't sleeping, I just pushed them up on my forehead. Good for quick catnaps backstage and in the van, and also not a bad look. Kinda sleepy and sexy. Very un-corporate America for sure. Earplugs rock. Not just to blot out the crappy opening band from ruining what little hearing you have left, but to stomp out humans and their yammering. Same on a plane. If you're wearing earplugs, strangers won't go out of their way to try to annoy you with their inane chatter about food and the mating habits of celebrities . Banter sucks. For a guy who talks a hell of a lot, I sure spend a lot of the day not talking. There's often no reason to, and I save my energy and thoughts to direct them where they matter. This is a way to not waste your life and to maximize your everythingonly talk when there's a reason. If you really like the sound of your own voice, get a Dictaphone (great for jotting down thoughts and melodies by the way) and practice with yourself to get really good at being interviewed. You can damn well bet I did a bit of that when I was younger .

[2.] I call them "eye squish" for some reason. And ear plugs are "ear squish."

If you find yourself without earplugs when you need them, in a pinch you can use a (hopefully unused) cigarette filter. Flare it out a bit first.

If you only have one earplug, you can rip it in two to make two earplugs if you have that cheap spongy type.

Toilet paper can be used to keep out some noise when nothing else is available.

A T-shirt can work as an eye squish if you need.

Figure 16.10. Earplugsbring your own.

graphic/16fig10.gif


I once recorded with Mark Needham, an engineer who had worked with Rancid. I already liked that band a lot, but I started to love 'em after he told me that Rancid was totally the most brotherly loving band he'd ever worked with. He said they never argued, seemed on a common goal with everything, talked through disagreements calmly, never let the ego get in the way, and always saved a piece of pizza for the guy who stepped out for a minute. I loved that.

If music ain't fun, why bother?

Everyone in the band should get sleeping bags. You won't always be able to afford a hotel room, and more often than not on your first few tours you will end up sleeping on the promoter's or a fan's floor.

NOTE

I implied it a few chapters back, but it bears repeating: When you stay at people's houses , if you do all their dishes (not just the ones you dirtied), I guarantee you'll get asked back to not only stay, but to play.

NOTE

Voltage Conversion

When touring outside North America, you will find that most wall sockets are 220 volts , not the 110 we have here. This will fry your amp. Or it would it you could get your plug into their weird wall sockets, which you can't.

You'll need converters. And you have to make sure that they can handle the wattage that your amp draws (which is more than it puts out to the speakers . A 300-watt bass amp can draw 750 watts or more from the wall). Don't get the little ones they sell at airports, which can only handle a laptop or an electric razor .

Note that most new laptops can take 110 or 220 volts into the power supply. But read the specs to keep from frying yours. If yours does take 220, you won't need the heavy converter transformer, but you still will need the little plug adapter so you can fit your plug in the European socket. They come in sets for each country, and usually only come with the transformer.

Even with the right converter, you can still encounter problems with amps or especially with keyboards or anything with a computer built in it. I would recommend renting or borrowing equipment in the country of destination. Bomb did this.

There are a million garage bands in Europe that will host you, drive you, provide gear, let you stay in their house, eat their food, get drunk with their girlfriends, and probably even book the tour to get to go on the road with an American band. And in some countries (like Switzerland and Germany), rock clubs are even sponsored by the government to keep kids off the street! These folks pay really well and treat you well.

One person should always sleep in the van to keep the equipment from getting ripped off.

It's better to stay in motels than hotels, unless the hotel has secured parking with a guard. In a motel, you can park the van full of gear, with one member sleeping in it right outside the door. If anyone tries to break in, that person can yell and hopefully someone will come out and help.

Take turns with van sleep duty, unless there's one person who really likes it.

NOTE

One of my favorite true rock 'n' roll stories is this: When my friend Bean was playing bass with Helios Creed, one club they played was in such a bad neighborhood that the venue had a guy on the roof with a shotgun guarding the bands as they loaded out.

You don't want to carry weapons on tour, as they will get you in trouble if you're searched, but a tire iron or something that can double as something else is not a bad idea to keep handy, for defensive purposes only. An exception is that women can usually get away with carrying Mace easier than guys. Cops will usually let that one slide. Usually. But don't use a weapon, even in defense, if there's a way not to. These are hard decisions to make on the spot, which is why you probably shouldn't trust this guard duty to someone who's been drinking.

You can usually get a room for one or two people and sneak the rest in. Some of you might have to duck down in the van when someone goes and signs in.

Don't trash the room. You can't afford it. Just have fun, do what you will, make a mess, but don't break stuff. And leave a few bucks tip for the maid. You owe her.

NOTE

Always brush your teeth often on tour. Bring toothpaste, keep it in the van, and go in a bathroom and freshen up. You're gonna be talking to a lot of people close up.

Take your vitamins. Bring some with you, but in the original container so no one thinks they are narcotics if you get searched at an airport or a border.

[ LiB ]


[d]30 Music School
The Angel Experiment (Maximum Ride, Book 1)
ISBN: 1592001718
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2006
Pages: 138

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