Checklists for Life

9

Dealing with Death

If we’re lucky, most of us have little firsthand experience dealing with death. The American Association of Retired Persons estimates that we lose someone close to us only about once every fourteen years. But our inexperience puts us at a disadvantage confronting the bewildering and costly array of decisions to be made at a time of such profound loss. Giving some thought in advance to handling a death can make a difficult time a bit easier.

 What to Do When Someone Dies

1.	Don’t move the body unless you have medical permission or a permit to do so.
2.	If the death was expected, you may call the attending physician or a hospice nurse to sign the death certificate. (A death certificate is always required and must be signed by the proper authority.)
3.	If the death was unexpected or its cause was uncertain, violent, unusual, or due to a contagious disease, dial 911 or call the police.
4.	Call a close friend or family member to come and help you. Emotional support and an extra pair of hands can make a big difference.
5.	Ask whether the deceased had already made final arrangements or had expressed wishes about what he or she wanted. Check to see if any prepayments have been made for funeral expenses and whether or not a burial plot has been designated.
6.	Determine whether and when there will be a funeral, prompt burial, or a cremation and select the funeral home or crematorium that will take care of the arrangements. Depending on the weather, a body can be left at home (as is) for as long as seventy-two hours. So don’t feel you must make a snap decision about where to send the remains if someone dies and no plans have been made.
7.	If you need to relocate the body before burial plans are finalized, you can have the body picked up from a home or hospital and transferred to a funeral home for temporary storage, for which you pay only a transfer fee. Make sure this situation is understood by the funeral director so there is no mistake about your option to choose a different funeral home after you decide what you want to do.
8.	Inform friends and family about the service once details have been finalized, or choose someone to do this for you. (See “Ten Facts You Should Know About the Death Care Business,” below.)
9.	Keep careful track of the original death certificate and make several extra copies. The death certificate will be essential when dealing with Social Security and insurance companies, and when selling real estate or other personal property that belonged to the deceased.
10.	If you don’t already know, ask someone close to the deceased where the obituary should appear. Consider alumni and trade magazines as well as newsletters for clubs and other special interest organizations. The funeral home generally places an obituary in the local paper for a small charge.

 Ten Facts You Should Know About the Death Care Business

1.	The average cost of a funeral in the United States is $5,000—not including cemetery expense, which can add another $2,000 to $4,000. A funeral is the third-largest purchase, after a house and a car, for many American families.
2.	Every funeral home has a nondeclinable charge called “General Services,” which includes paperwork, overhead, preparing the body, use of the funeral home for visitations, memorial services, etc. Ask to have all charges broken out so you can comparison shop. General services costs can vary as much as 300 percent at funeral homes within one town or city.
3.	Be sure to compare bottom-line prices among funeral homes. Some may charge more for general services, but less for coffins, urns, or other items that can make their total lower overall.
4.	Prices are regulated by the federal Funeral Rule of 1984, which also requires funeral homes to make price lists available and quote costs over the telephone. This federal rule prevents funeral homes from charging any extra fees or making negative or intimidating remarks to you if you purchase a casket from another source. You may have a legitimate complaint for the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) if a funeral director refuses to cooperate.
5.	The casket is the most expensive item in a funeral. A low-to-medium-priced coffin will cost about $1,700. But there are much less expensive choices, including canvas or cloth “pouches,” which can be used for burial and even for viewing if you choose. If price is an issue, keep asking to hear your options until you’re satisfied you know what would be the least expensive. (Be prepared for a response along the lines of “Oh, you couldn’t possibly want this for your loved one!” Don’t be intimidated.)
6.	The cost of an urn can range from less than $200 to as much as several thousand dollars for objets d’art that can be displayed at home. But the cremation fee includes a heavy cardboard or plastic container which you may keep as the final receptacle. Occasionally these will be stamped “For Temporary Use,” but don’t be fooled; they can be used for burial or for keeping ashes at home. Remember, you can always put the original container into a receptacle of your choice if you plan to keep it at home.
7.	If you’re going to put the ashes in a mausoleum, the owner may insist on your purchasing an urn to exempt his business from paying for another container if the original becomes damaged after several years.
8.	Caskets and urns can usually be purchased less expensively from third parties than from funeral home. Many good casket deals can be found on-line, and often, caskets can be shipped overnight. See the Resources Section for Web addresses.
9.	No law requires embalming. This is optional and strictly up to the family.
10.	Consumer groups advocate researching and choosing burial arrangements before they are needed. But they strongly advise against the “pre-need” payment deals urged by many in the industry.