I have frequently been asked to intervene when two members seem to be locked into some conflict and it is holding the rest of the team back. I find it helpful to first gain agreement on what role people want me to play in such an intervention. Table 17 outlines various roles one could assume to try to help. I actually never agree to serve as an arbitrator between parties. I have frequently been accused of being a " marriage counselor" when I have taken on these assignments. You should carefully negotiate your role and the ground rules that are to be used during the session.
FACILITATOR
MEDIATOR
ARBITRATOR
CONSULTANT
TRAINER
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I prefer to meet first with each party separately and try to gauge their commitment to trying to work things out. I suggest to each that the sessions will be used to trade agreements regarding behaviors. Outlining this approach is table 18, which I sometimes give to the "combatants." We don't use the sessions to figure out who was right and who was wrong. We ultimately identify what each will do to make the situation better. We have follow-up sessions to verify whether the parties are following through on their commitments. Sometimes I have them sign a behavioral contract clarifying their commitments. Form 1 provides a sample contract you may want to use as you attempt to be the X-factor in the resolution of conflicts in these stalemates.
What is the purpose of this meeting? To establish an effective and satisfying professional relationship between this pair of team members. How should we proceed?
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