Insecurity


The Transcendence Model will be explained several times throughout the book. Each time we will approach the matter from a different angle. But heres the basic explanation. You exist. You have wants. Often other people and various facts of life are in the way. Thats a problem. So, there is the possibility of insecurity. Insecurity is a part of what it is to be human. You might say its built right into the fabric of life itself. I coached someone recently who said, ˜˜Ah, so we want to make love with the universe, and we just cant. ˜˜Right, I said, ˜˜so were left with this lifetime sense of disunity. And its very frustrating.

We fight this frustration, this insecurity. When we are reminded of it, we experience some level of angst. Many of us spend our lives moving away from our insecurity. Certainly the controller seeks to get what she wants, lest she must face it. The worrier fears it. The fake hides it. So does the victim. The attention-seeker tries to fill the hole created by it. As you can see, lots of people are engaged in a busy dynamic around the matter.

Is this a new discovery? Not at all. Although this book is not about Buddhism, and I am not a Buddhist, there are millions of practitioners of this religion who operate on the assumption that ˜˜life is suffering. And millions of people have read thousands of nonreligious self-help books that espouse a similar view. It was the psychologist Eric Fromm who wrote, in the 1960s, that once we leave our mothers womb, we experience aloneness and separateness for the first time, and we suffer from it for the rest of our lives. (And, as one comedian has put it, we spend the rest of our lives trying to get back in.)

Were all insecure. So what? Is the explanation an oversimplification? Yes. In fact, if its true of everyone, there may not be a lot of value in making the claim. But the models true value comes from its use as a tool to explain certain behaviors and to direct our attention to some basic guidelines. Yes, were all insecure . We all feel angst when our stability is in question. When we experience insecurity, we seem to get lost in it. In a sense, we ˜˜become it. We identify ourselves with it. From that point of view, we dont usually see our way out of it. But by tracing it back to a simple source, and then by following the guideline that we must accept that particular angst as a part of our lives, and working at that acceptance, we feel relief. We also get one step closer to being able to preempt and move beyond the same stimulus/response dynamic in the future. This is transcendence.




Face It. Recognizing and Conquering The Hidden Fear That Drives All Conflict At Work
Face It. Recognizing and Conquering The Hidden Fear That Drives All Conflict At Work
ISBN: 814408354
EAN: N/A
Year: 2002
Pages: 134

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