The Experience of Self

Meta-level thinking also gives us the experience of self. The object-level fact that we exist at least as bodies walking around the planet cannot be denied . But the actual experience of self, a volitional, distinct entity who is somehow inside the body, but who feels that regardless of what the body is up to (at least until the body dies), this self existsthat is a meta-level experience.

You cant touch, see, or perceive in any other way somebodys self or sense of self. Even scans of the brain tell us the experience of self does not occur in a specific area of the brain; apparently there are many areas of the brain that periodically participate in producing the experience. So we dont know where your experience of self comes from. As a matter of fact, we dont even know for sure that you have one. Western scientists veered away from the study of something so inaccessible decades ago.

Yet most of us are sure we personally have a sense of self. When we wake up in the morning, we feel like the same person we were the day before. We use the word I as though the word has some referent in the real world. We blur the line between the world of objects and the meta-level world of meaning. We each operate as though there were an object of some sort in the world called our personal ˜˜self, but when we actually go to grab that object it slips from our fingers.

Self is a meta-level production: You construct your sense of self. You dont do it on purpose, as in, ˜˜Today Im going to adopt this particular persona. You do it automatically, as in, ˜˜I am this, and that, and that. I look like this and I speak like this. I think like this. I have this history. This is who I am: this person with all these tendencies. All your object-level thoughts about yourself lead to a singularity.

As a matter of fact, your experience of self can change as the moments of the day pass. Consciousness seems to take on the form of what crosses its path . You can be a cool cat walking alone down your street in sandals, shorts, and sunglasses one day, and an engaged listener nodding and empathizing with a friend on the next. ˜˜I am a cool cat, you say on the first day, and ˜˜I am a good listener on the next . You slide right into these roles, taking yourself very seriously.