It s Not Always About Childhood

Its Not Always About Childhood

You dont always have to go back into childhood memories when dealing with anxieties. Indeed, several anxieties are simply about the day-to-day pains of life. They have nothing to do with childhood trauma or poor parenting. For example, hormones and many other brain chemicals can affect mood; when they are out of balance, anxiety might be the result. Medical doctors can address these issues very effectively with prescription medicines.

A midlife crisis is a bit of a prison in and of itself. People can go through years during this time of life with a gnawing feeling of anxiety. ˜˜What is my purpose? ˜˜What is my meaning? and ˜˜Why am I here? these questions are posed regularly in my practice. They are not just rhetorical pleas for lightning bolts to deliver philosophical satisfaction. They are profoundly honest queries from people who look me straight in the eye as they pose them. They are announcing that they darn well want answers and will feel uncomfortable until they get them.

Other questions about how we will spend our lives can preoccupy us. ˜˜Should I have a family? ˜˜I cant have children, so what good am I? ˜˜I feel guilty going back to work after having a child. When anxieties strike over questions like these, there is little value in trying to determine whether the same anxieties were experienced in childhood. They dont usually stem from unresolved childhood issues. Questions about a persons historical family situation may be useful, but revisiting childhood trauma probably is not.

Issues of human mortality often imprison us. When we anticipate or grieve the loss of a loved one, or wrestle with our own fears of death, we can hold onto anguish for a long time. These matters are huge for people. They are not usually about what happened when they were young. They are real, tangible , and painful problems, very much about the present.

So, in coaching sessions, looking into childhood experiences is not always necessary. But it is useful frequently, not because childhood is the source of all angst but because life is angst provoking and we start our lives in childhood! We learn our responses to lifes provocations once we get started with life. If we dont resolve or fully process early provocations, then later ones wont be handled very easily. So people seek help. A bad economy, a persons limited job security, a lack of global stability, family stressesthese things jump-start the anxiety. When we have unfinished business from our past, it shows up in these moments.