Lies We Tell Ourselves


The blunt truth is too painful for victims, so they shift the blame away from where they suspect it belongs. The thing being hiddeneven vaguely from themselves is the belief that the blame rests at least partly on their shoulders. The service adviser probably knew he could have avoided my wifes frustrations. Perhaps out of a misguided desire to please , he didnt expose this knowledge.

People normalize victim behavior so the lies become easy to tell. They become accustomed to telling them. Employees in some industries are put in situations where they have to adopt a victim stance. For example, the high-tech industry sells leading-edge products and services that, by their very nature, have not yet been perfected. Customer-contact people in this community often really are between a rock and a hard place.

Speaking realistically , service advisers at car dealerships do have a very tough job. Sometimes they can keep their promises, and sometimes they just cant. Management pressures them into making promises for any one of many reasonsmostly pertaining to competitive survival. So they promise things will be done by a certain time. But Murphys Law comes into effect, and things go awry. They could spend half their days owning blame for things simply because their job forces them to give their word when their word cant be consistently fulfilled. They avoid the angst by deflecting the blame. The same is true of many work situations today, where employees are often asked to juggle a ridiculous amount of work. It is so tempting to blame reality in such situations.

But people normalize victim behavior when it isnt mandated , too. They find themselves sliding down a slippery slope of deflecting blame. Once they get away with doing this a few times, they learn it works, and then it becomes a habit. Some trade-speople have reputations of simply never being on time. I once saw a handymans truck that proclaimed in big letters a list of what made him special. ˜˜I always arrive at the promised time! the top bullet said. The next one said, ˜˜When late, I always call.




Face It. Recognizing and Conquering The Hidden Fear That Drives All Conflict At Work
Face It. Recognizing and Conquering The Hidden Fear That Drives All Conflict At Work
ISBN: 814408354
EAN: N/A
Year: 2002
Pages: 134

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