If You Work with Attention-Seekers

Your goal is probably to keep them motivated but to ˜˜ turn them down a bit.

Very few attention-seekers are prepared to admit whats going on. Remember that you cant just tell someone they are an attention-seeker . After all, you dont have access to their private motivations. Nobody likes to be labeled. You can never win the argument. Dont be hurtful by labeling.

If somebody does admit that he is frequently busy seeking attention, you can validate the motivation. There is nothing inherently wrong with the desire to be seen. In fact, it could be argued that attention-seeking is a very healthy response to the world. The only problemand he will probably be prepared to admit to itis that sometimes he goes too far (consuming valuable time, taking risks with their teams image, being hurtful to others through humor). So with the admission comes the opportunity to negotiate. And with increased awareness through ongoing dialogue comes an improved ability to control impulses.

If someone does not readily admit to the negative effects of their behavior, and you need the behavior to change, then dont go to the topic of motive. Stay on the topic of behavior: ˜˜When you do that, you can tell her, ˜˜it has this effect. Please try not to do that, so that we can avoid the effect. Consider the possibility that if attention-seekers really ˜˜push your buttons , it may be because in some way you see yourself in their behavior. And you may not like your own attention-seeking impulses. Take a look in the mirror; insecurity drives us all.