Owning the Truth

Ultimately, the key to overcoming the feelings that go with being a fake is to ˜˜own the truth that is being hidden. Thats not to say its easy.

First of all, as a coach I have tried to stop using the word own in the context of ˜˜owning your feelings. Nobody instantly gets the meaning. So, heres a better explanation. When you acknowledge something to yourself, such as that you possess a quality or trait, or you are responsible for some misfortune, you are owning it. Lots of times we become fakes because we are not acknowledging something about ourselves .

The fake, in any of the forms we have talked about, is moving away from or ignoring something that doesnt want to be ignored. The thing being ignored needs to be embraced instead. The crooked stockbrokers were moving away from or ignoring their beliefs about whats fair. The boss who didnt want to confront the consistently tardy employee was ignoring her responsibility to address it. Smokers trying to quit are ignoring their better judgment when they fire up another cigarette. Catherine ignored her fear of being over her head on the job and, as a result, convoluted her communication. Daniel the trainer attempted to ignore his belief that he didnt deserve the applause, and it made him feel conflicted as a result. The list goes on.