Will in Action

Two sales representatives were hired by a corporate communications firm. They had similar career backgrounds and the exact same university degrees. They had both been very successful in their prior jobs. They were well paid in their new roles. As a matter of fact, they were hired into the roles because they were successful, dynamic heavy hitters.

Their jobs were to sell their employers very expensive services. The problem was that the world economy was sinking, and the services they had to sell were much less in demand. Both gentlemen started work on the same day and received the same training. Lets call one man Will, and the other Cant.

Unfortunately, after six months on the job, both men had to be let go. They had sold nothing. Their employer could no longer justify its investment in them. The leader of Will and Cant had to sit them down one at a time to discuss termination. Cant was the first person to go into the bosss office for the termination conversation. Here is how he responded:

˜˜This is disgusting. You people hired me with the lure of big money.

I feel misled. The customers are not receptive to our approach; the service offering is not really ready to be in the marketplace . Marketing has not finalized its positioning, let alone properly instituted a supportive advertising campaign. You have not once gone on a sales call with me. This whole affair has been a sham. Youll hear from my lawyer! Im going to squeeze every last cent out of this rip-off organization. You watch me! Nobody! Nobody wrecks my career like this! Youll pay!

Cant stormed out of his bosss office, slamming the door behind him. Over the next several weeks he met with two lawyers in order to commence legal proceedings . The first lawyer he judged to be too soft for his needs. The second lawyer, he thought, was sufficiently like a vicious shark to qualify for the job. Cant told all his friends of the way he had been victimized. He spent many an hour bemoaning his losses, in terms of career momentum, legal fees, and embarrassment. He brought his anger into his home. It made his kids cry on more than one occasion and infected his relationship with his wife. Cant was one very angry man.

What about Will? He sat down with his boss and heard the companys decision. He said, ˜˜Well, we knew this could happen. The fact is, I did not fulfill my part of the bargain. I understand. It is unfortunate. Ill be fine. It was an interesting experience, wasnt it? Thanks for the education and the honor of working with you.

Will moved on in his life. While Cant was involved in his legal wrangling, Will found work. Ultimately, they both ended up with the same financial settlement . Will accepted the companys initial generous offer, and Cant settled out of court for an amount that was a little higher than Wills, but his legal fees balanced things out.

I spoke at length to the HR executive who oversaw the process of Wills and Cants exits. We talked about the vast differences between the two mens reactions . Cant responded like an angry victim. He got lost in his reaction. It held him back from productive activity. His ego was fully engaged for weeks. Will, on the other hand, had a realistic view of the circumstances. He was not moved to blame. He dealt with the future coming at him calmly and confidently. He moved on.

My coaching client asked Cant to explain why he was pursuing litigation. He answered , ˜˜Because you messed with me. Wills answer for why he did what he did was, ˜˜I just moved on. No sense in messing around.

People who recognize meta-level thinking for what it is see themselves as choosers instead of deliberators. The rest operate on the mistaken assumption that in advance of our decisions we go through a rational thinking process in order to define our best choice. There is reason to believe that choices are not really made that way at all. For example, the neuroscientist Benjamin Libet has shown that there is a half-second delay between when our unconscious mind makes its choice and when our conscious mind becomes aware of the choice. We think we are driving the decision bus, but whats going on below the level of our awareness is what really has the control. When most of us have made a choice in lifeeven a little one like going to a certain restaurant for lunch we look back after our choice and provide a rationale. But in advance of our choice, we just choose. When we look back and provide our explanation, we are more or less pretending that our conscious mind went through some process of deliberation. When you have become a will, you make choices. They come from deep inside you. You dont pretend there are explanations .

Will lets stuff go. He has the same impulses as the rest of us. We never lose our natural impulses. But Will is will, if you know what I mean. He sees what is going on in his head. But he sees it for what it is. Cant, on the other hand, tends to get lost in his responses. As a matter of fact, in the process of providing him with outplacement support, I learned that his degree of anger came from unprocessed anger from his childhood.