REFRAMING EMOTIONAL SPINNING

Workplace spinning is an equal-opportunity activity so can be tricky to recognize in its various formats. Trying to frame it in normal pictures could be confusing. Spinning can be intentional or accidental and takes on as many forms as there are personalities. Once a spin is started, the spinner has to adjust and readjust to the spin itself. This spinning and adjusting and readjusting leads to countless varieties, shapes , and sizes that spin into action as a spin, and a spinner, takes on a life of its own.

As a spin takes shape a spinner may become a versatile shape-shifter to continue participation. Rapidly switching forms and sizes, costumes and scripts, moods and behaviors, an intentional spinner or Emotional Terrorist might take on the characteristics of a saint one moment and the next behave like a snake. Emotional Terrorists can spin about like tornadoes one afternoon and the next morning are transformed into magical beings that are now the epicenter of tranquility. Emotional Terrorists can wear shark suits or goldfish suits . They can be as charming, charismatic, sweet and alluring as a kitten and instantly turn into a tiger. Terrorists can be your best friend or your least favorite person. The Emotional Terrorist can turn out to be your best friend or someone you would instantly expect to be a problem. In fact, frequently the identified "problem" person is not the cause of the spin but the alarm system.

Spinners are represented well by all ages, genders, colors, shapes, sizes, income brackets, educational status, religions, sexual preferences, political affiliations, ability or disability levels, marital status, training levels, and shoe size . Regular emotional spinners and Emotional Terrorists can be found in all levels of the hierarchy from long-time owners and administrators to the newest and greenest line staff. In other words, ANYONE can spin given the right set of circumstances. Reframing annoyances is just as easy as reframing extreme emotions. Small or large spins do not need to consume the worksite or your emotional well being.

Reframing

Reframing is a term used in psychology to define looking at something you have seen many times and seeing it differently. The term "reframing" when used in a discussing of emotions or emotional change originates in neuro-linquistic programming (NLP) a contemporary theory of psychology. The theory is based on assumptions and research about how the brain works and therefore how it either remains fixed or changes. In a counseling session, for example, a client may be encouraged to reframe a crisis as an opportunity for growth. A person who has been an addict may be directed in ways to reframe his or her lost years as circles in a tree that aren't lost but rather part of the entire lifespan. Reframing is creative and somewhat annoying as it takes you out of your comfort zone. When people are motivated by a crisis they tend to be more willing to reframe a situation. Even those who are short on imagination can stretch their fantasy thinking and find a new way to perceive something they have known before. In therapy , the therapist guides the reframe until the skill is self-managed . Managers need to learn how to reframe experiences so they can learn, adapt to change, and then teach others. So, read this chapter with an open mind and your imagination. Do not lock into the ideas proposed as a means toward yet another rut! Use the ideas to find your own ways of seeing, learning, and adjusting to the transformations of daily life and the business world.

Changing the Picture

How do we change what we see? We see something and trust our perceptions. But human perception is a dynamic and fluid process that changes from moment to moment. It is impossible to see all angles of any given situation while it is impossible to maintain all possible perspectives of anything. We fill in the gaps or spaces with our own ideas and belief systems, opinions and memories as well as with countless other details we create for our own comfort levels. These perceptions lock into place and if they become rigid then we become fundamentally convinced of our right-sightedness. Thus originates a conflict. The right view opposes the not-right view and the attachment to the conflicting perception creates intractable conflict. Jay Haley, author of Problem Solving Therapy (1987) wrote that "problem solving demands changes in the way a problem is perceived." Perception can be changed by reframing an idea into another picture. According to film experts, reframing means changing the view of a subject while the camera is running ” either the subject moves or the camera does. In other words, the change occurs without a cut. (Glossarist, 2004) Making new movies in your mind changes how you see the world. If you don't like what you are seeing, change the film.

All organized groups develop unique mythologies. Historic events, traditions and powerful memories become icons of collective remembering. Those who do not accept the tribal myths are outsiders. Outsiders are sometimes the enemy. Stories that become a company myth can hold the organization together like emotional glue, or can fracture the company into another Us-vs-Them state. Challenging a myth can be seen as challenging the whole group . Mythologies are replete with stories of heroes and villains . Both need each other to complete the story.

Because humans are biological, chemical and symbolic, the use of metaphors, mythologies, stories and fables can be either positive or negative influences. Symbolic language is useful when learning how to manage emotions at the workplace. Metaphors are less direct and therefore can be a safer way to discuss something with strong emotional content.

Changing how you talk about emotions will be an important part of your Emotional Continuity Management style. You can use parables, fables, movies, and children's books to explore feelings. This can make a discussion less threatening . Movies, filled with metaphors and mythologies, are an excellent means to discuss emotions. It is safer to talk about an actor's reaction to a situation then to disclose your own feelings. Adding parables, fables, movie references, or symbolic metaphoric images to your management style will give you an additional tool to explore and describe emotional content.

Using metaphoric images like predators, prey and scavengers, a proactive manager may begin to see lions and vultures and bunnies at work. It takes some of the negativity off the process to "play" with the following ideas. It is one thing to think of an employee as an Emotional Terrorist or a victim of Emotional Terrorism, it is another thing to identify someone as a hungry lion on the prowl or a zebra who was not paying attention. Using these identifiers as a creative way to categorize different types of workplace critters can be a light and creative way to begin a professional dialogue or team discussion on the topic. Who works at your zoo?

Recognizing the diversity of positive and negative traits in human beings provides the building blocks necessary to resolve workplace problems. There is room for everyone on the planet, but perhaps not at your work site. Remember that in nature, not all prey are harmless and not all predators toxic. It is wise to know if your organization needs sharks to succeed, or requires goldfish to create public trust. The entire point of this nontraditional exercise in metaphors is that you need to keep your business working smoothly. What will that take? The point is not to label or diagnose individual people, but to identify what is creating chaos in the system.

As your observation skills start to change, don't be afraid to do some critical thinking and use some creative discernment . Have fun with the analogies and metaphors but use them with caution. Seeing an employee as a bunny and another as a wolf is one thing, but take caution. Any kind of problem-solving style can facilitate creative resolutions to problems or bring about a nasty lawsuit. Metaphoric reframing is no exception. Be thoughtful how you use the information. For example, it is one thing to go running to your boss screaming that your administrative assistant is a "snake in the grass." It is quite another thing to use the word "snake" like the following manager did during an Emotional Continuity Management Training workshop:

Case Example

The manager reported to her boss that she believed Shaun was a problem. She reported a variety of documented behaviors that had sent other employees into an emotional spin. When the CEO asked why she had spent time on this employee, she was able to account for numerous work hours dealing with emotional spinning in her department. As part of her report she stated a nontechnical analogy that assisted the CEO in perceiving the difficulty in her unit. She said, "It's as if Shaun is a snake in our midst and not everyone in the unit likes snakes. I want your support to pay attention and continue determining if her agenda is dangerous or just different. When I lived in the tropics a number of years ago I knew there were snakes present. I didn't need to get rid of snakes, but I did need to know which snakes were dangerous, which were annoying and which would kill me flat out. It just made sense to know the difference. I met people there who liked snakes and others who were terrified the entire time just in case they might see a snake." The CEO supported the manager's concerns.

Learning Byte

Using analogies can be fun! Not all management techniques have to be boring! Managers who have learned how to be creative are less likely to become spinners. Be thoughtful and kind and learn to laugh at the ways human beings express themselves . Reframe your difficult employees into challenges and your crisis into an opportunity. Or, pull out your managerial magic wand and poof yourself to a desert island for a well-deserved vacation. After all, you can reframe your stress also! Just don't get lost in the fantasy or begin to use it as a new and improved rut.

DO THIS : Without telling anyone, take the next few moments and create a fantasy in your imagination to reframe your workplace.

DON'T : Forget to come back to reality and get your job done.