Happy, healthy , well-adjusted people get annoyed. They get angry and they get sad. They experience a wide range of emotions. What makes them "well-adjusted" is that they have found methods to help them adjust. They emotionally self-correct to changes in their environment. If you are sitting in a chair and your leg feels a cramp coming on, you adjust your position to move your body away from the discomfort. This is a physical adjustment.
Emotional adjustments are the same. A brief discomfort, or even an extreme emotional pain, is managed by reorganizing an emotional position. With a minor leg cramp, most people do not need to call an ambulance or begin screaming hysterically. A heart attack is different and demands a different response. In the same light most people do not go on crying binges at their jobs, throw chairs through windows , or become snipers if they have an emotional discomfort. They adjust. If a large or catastrophic emotional crisis occurs, adjustment may take longer. But well-adjusted people have methods, ideas, and support systems to help them adjust well. Less well-adjusted people also have methods, ideas and support systems to help them adjust. They just don't do it as efficiently or effectively. Where a well-adjusted person may reach out for a supportive word from a friend or a spouse, a less well-adjusted person may reach out for a pharmaceutical product. In terms of the workplace, both approaches to adjustment may keep people working and productive. The risks increase when either the well-adjusted person or the less-than -well-adjusted person cannot put their methods in place due to stress, interference, or interruption. What impedes or interrupts adjustment increases risk. As the capacity or ability to adjust diminishes, risk increases . Minor annoyances should require minor adjustments.
Jane always adjusted well at work, no matter the crisis. During the power outage , she could not call her support system, and her stress increased. Transportation was not available, and she was isolated from her personal comfort and support items. She had never been without her support system. She found herself taking deep breaths and silently praying herself calm.
Lydia always adjusted well at work, no matter the crisis. During the power outage, she could not call her support system and her stress increased. Transportation was not available and she was isolated from her personal comfort and support items. She had never been without her support system. She began to cry. She couldn't stop. Efforts to support her from peers led her to become increasingly agitated. She was inconsolable and began to rave about the danger of the situation and within a short period of time she was convinced that she was going to die. She was gasping for breath and calling out to God to save her before it was too late.
Learning Byte
Both women had presented the same emotional adjustment skills prior to the crisis. Jane was able to access an internal strength she had not used before. Lydia found her outer as well as inner resources unavailable in crisis. What managers need to learn from this example is that both responses are reasonable to expect. Neither response should create a crisis within the crisis. If a manager is comfortable with emotions, they can add to the calm by remaining calm in the face of the chaos. This can be very comforting, supportive, and ultimately good for recovery and business.
DO THIS : Get comfortable with emotions as part of your job. Stay calm. See chaos as an interesting feature of life and work.
DON'T : Create a crisis inside a crisis ..
Well-adjusted people generally tend to have the following recognizable traits. It is reasonable to transpose these traits into opposite terms to suggest what traits less than well-adjusted people might demonstrate :
Easily let go of past grudges
Assume the best from one another
Seek outside feedback carefully
Do not participate in emotional drama
Do not initiate emotional drama
Put clients first
Maintain a good attitude even during challenging times
Use the chain of command to affect change
Use policy format to offer complaints
Do not hide memos or information from some staff and provide it selectively to others
Strive for cooperation
Verbally appreciate help given
Show respect for each other
Model appropriate business site sense of humor
Do not participate in humor that includes inappropriate innuendos (sexual, racial, socio-economic , political, gender bias)
Model flexibility
Offer examples of personal truthfulness
Show personal accountability
Give and receive forgiveness
Offer clear communication
Demand and offer equality
Perform the highest work ethics
Complete and follow through with assignments
Do not engage in second-hand gossip
Do not spread or encourage rumors
Actively participate
Show consideration for others
Stand by confidentiality standards
Act professionally in the presence of clients
Give more than just the minimum
Work with cooperation between hierarchies
Show courtesy in all situations
Listen and respond to feedback
Able to make compromise and contribute to positive dispute resolution
Stand behind own opinion, yet open to negotiation
Use non-violent communication methods
Verma had an unexpected death in her immediate family. Prior to the death she had been a very stable adult. Verma took some sick time off work. She wanted to go back to work within two weeks but knew she was not ready to resume her normal workload. With the help of her counselor and manager, she negotiated a part time schedule until she would be able to work full time. The company had an Emotional Continuity Management grief procedure that included daily post-crisis updates with management. Her grieving followed a normal pattern of ups and downs , and within the five month post-death period, she lost only 1 1 /2 days of work due to grief adjustment. She took lunches alone for the first three months. She was excused from some nonessential meetings. Gradually, she adjusted to the difficult change in her life without significant impact on the workplace. Verma was able to appropriately continue her grief-work at home with family, with her counselor, with her manager, and returned to her pre-crisis performance level within a reasonable time frame.
Learning Byte
This was an amazing team adjustment based on a compassionate Emotional Continuity Management plan that adjusted to an uncontrollable, emotionally loaded interruption. It could have turned into a failure for everyone involved, but with the help of some carefully structured ideas, policies and plans, adjustment happened and a valuable employee was retained and supported. Verma's loyalty increased as she healed.
DO THIS : Stay in touch with your own feelings as you are managing the feelings of others
DON'T : Be afraid of feelings. Being a human being can be difficult at times. Most people are okay!