One of my most valued mentors told me that if I was not learning from every client then I was doing something wrong. This has been good advice and became a personal motto as I was learning. Then, when I became the Fabulous and Amazing Dr. Vali, that advice was an icon and it was already a practice habit. It has served me well. Just when I think Ive "seen it all and heard it all" I find myself in learning mode from someone in my private practice or consulting work who has a new story. I listen.
I tell my students and clients about one of my favorite learners. He is a gentleman who could barely read. He came to my office to learn how to be a better father after his divorce. He loved his children but didn't feel competent. He knew he wasn't going to get a college degree, had no time for seminars , and of course was almost illiterate. He was so eager to be a great dad that we worked out a way for him to have life long learning. I helped him find a book he thought he might like to read if he had time and was a better reader. He bought his own copy of the book. First I showed him that it was definitely okay to make notes, underline, or write on the pages of the book. After all, it was his book. Then I showed him how to tear out one page at a time. After all, it was his book. He then took that page and folded it carefully and put it in his pocket. Then when he was taking a lunch break at his work, relaxing , or in some other place that was quiet he would pull out that page and plug away at reading it. Sometimes he'd only get through a sentence. But then he would ponder that sentence for a long time. I encouraged him not to worry about how long it took, but to take the information inside his good spirit and to have some faith in himself and his kids . This gentleman kept at it, and his children adore him. They see him as a man who is willing to learn, to make effort, and invest in something important. He gets an A+ from this Ph.D. and is an inspiration to me to get up each morning at dawn and read about something I need to learn even if it is just a sentence or two. I hope this chapter encourages you to expand your knowledge base.