You are a whole person! In an ideal world with ideal people, the whole person should have a repertoire and set of recipes for creating a wonderful life, at home and at work. Everyone else on the rest of the planet must strive for such balance on a daily basis. Healthy people have a plan and a process to care for their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. This book would be remiss if it avoided the whole person in favor of one of these four foundations of well-being. Take ample time to review your foundations for health as you define them. Favoring one of the four cornerstones while ignoring the others leads to operating in an unbalanced state. Doing a daily practice, discipline, or treatment of some kind in each category will keep you balanced no matter what comes your way. You need to be balanced when standing in the presence of change. Balance does not mean fixed ” it can mean staying in one position for a long time, or being alert and ready to spring into action. All athletes have ways to strengthen their balance because they know how important it is to motion. Are your foundations balanced or do you put all your energies into one category at the expense of the other three?
Create your own self-care practice. First, fill in the chart provided with what you do now in each category. Then, with a colored pen or pencil, collage, or other creative form, add what you would like to change or add to your self-care regimen in the next weeks, months and years . Use the examples provided to being thinking about your self care.
PHYSICAL: Exercise, diet, grooming and hygiene, movement, temperature, senses (vision, taste, touch, hearing, smelling) observing art, dancing , wearing different colors and textures, hugs or handshakes, good hand washing, breathing deeply in the morning air, music, trying different foods , a day of silence.
SPIRITUAL: Exploring the relationship you have with whatever or whoever it is you think is in charge of the universe. Making that relationship a priority. Find a spiritual or religious practice that is yours.
MENTAL: Challenging yourself in areas of non-expertise, in other words, if you read all the time. take a break. If you never read, pick up a book. If you read nonfiction, take a break with a cheesy novel , and if all you ever read is cheese, pick up a biography. It is okay if you take four years to read a book. It is the willingness that is important. Go to an opera, or stay at home and play a board game. Do crossword puzzles, or start a non-profit organization and build a board of directors. Do more, or do less, but do it awake.
EMOTIONAL: Your feelings matter mostly to you, but they do matter. You are human because you have discernment and feel differently about different things. At the end of life people generally do not regret having had a full life with emotions. If they regret , it is that they missed feeling something because they were not paying attention in the moment.
Avoid critical behaviors
Remember to express your highest ideals
Humor is appropriate when it is appropriate
Remember the big picture of the mission
All critical incidents are temporary so take the extra moments to make certain you are responding at your highest level
Feelings and emotions are good, yours and theirs
Respect is not just a song by Aretha Franklin
Become approachable
Do not interrupt to interject you opinion
Relax
Sarcasm is never useful
Posture sets a tone
Pleasantness is possible even during conflict
Detach from the people to see the issue or problem
Assume people are telling the truth first
Become comfortable with your strengths
Become comfortable with your weaknesses
Give people an opportunity to maintain their dignity , even when they are wrong
Solicit other opinions
Seek to understand others
Be an advocate for reconciliation
Take breaks
'Please' and 'thank you' are classics
Know the difference between formal and informal meetings
Only take notes when necessary
Express your feelings and opinions clearly and simply when possible
Optimism is stronger than pessimism
Appropriate praise does not make you lose power
Courtesy and kindness can work at the jobsite
Listen with attention
Speak with a pleasant tone
Pay attention to what your face is doing: grimace , rolling eyes, smiling
Do not fear losing all personal power with an apology, it builds bridges
Do not use an apology to take power, or the bridge will collapse
Remember people are generally good
Remember bad people do exist
Try different ways to interact with different people
Ask appropriate questions
Confront issues and not people
Do not avoid discussing personal issues that may impact your employees : death of a loved one, pet, divorce, birthday, wedding , graduation
After filling out this questionnaire, determine the areas you want to change or keep the same. What would help you be your best?
Am I consistent? | Yes | No |
Do my words match my actions? | Yes | No |
Do my gestures match my words? | Yes | No |
Am I condescending or sarcastic ? | Yes | No |
Do people trust me? | Yes | No |
Do I trust myself ? | Yes | No |
Do I anticipate others' concerns? | Yes | No |
Am I curious ? | Yes | No |
Am I flexible? | Yes | No |
Am I on task? | Yes | No |
Am I on task emotionally? | Yes | No |
Do I think results are more important than people? | Yes | No |
Am I comfortable with my own emotions? | Yes | No |
Am I comfortable with the emotions of others? | Yes | No |
Am I open to learn from everyone? | Yes | No |
Do I maintain my commitments and follow through? | Yes | No |
Do I make excuses and blame others? | Yes | No |
Do I value and work well with differences? | Yes | No |
Am I having any fun? | Yes | No |
Do I avoid conflict? | Yes | No |
Do I foster conflict? | Yes | No |
Do I enjoy leadership? | Yes | No |
Are my communications purposeful? | Yes | No |
Are my interactions calm? | Yes | No |
Are my interactions chaotic ? | Yes | No |
Do I manage problem solving without taking it personally ? | Yes | No |
Do I have good support? | Yes | No |
Do I have good resources? | Yes | No |
Do I share credit with others? | Yes | No |
Do I approach or withdraw from problem solving? | Yes | No |
Do I have neutrality skills? | Yes | No |
Do I motivate others? | Yes | No |
Do I serve as an example of top ideals and ethical standards? | Yes | No |
Do I reward? | Yes | No |
Do I punish? | Yes | No |
Do I back up my people? | Yes | No |
Do I encourage others to grow? | Yes | No |
Do I create obstacles? | Yes | No |
Am I an obstacle ? | Yes | No |
Do I ask others to do what I will not do myself? | Yes | No |
Do I laugh ? | Yes | No |
Do I relax? | Yes | No |
Do I rise to the occasion? | Yes | No |
Am I where I want to be? | Yes | No |
Am I growing and learning on a daily basis? | Yes | No |
Do I make realistic promises? | Yes | No |
Do I protect confidentiality or sensitive data? | Yes | No |
Am I honest? | Yes | No |
Can I admit error? | Yes | No |
Can I admit error graciously? | Yes | No |
DO I FOLLOW A CODE OF ETHICS? | YES | NO |