Opinions That Matter

A senior executive at a large cable company, Karen, presented to her team information that she had received from the top about an organizational restructuring. Karen simply gave the facts, and her team was left to wonder: What does she think about the changes? Does she believe in the new structure? Where does she think the biggest challenge will be? Does she have concerns about the future?

Leaders who get caught up in being the mouthpiece of the organization can create a barrier between themselves and their teams. Relaying information from the top is commonly done robot-style. Karen’s direct reports knew that they would not get every detail about the behind-the-scenes meeting, but they wanted to know what their leader thought about the reorganization.

Karen did not understand how important her opinions were to her team. Also, she felt that she could not reveal her personal analysis or viewpoints because the executive management team wanted to project a united front. Yet there were ways she could have offered insights while still being supportive of upper management. She could have said: “I struggled with that part in the beginning but came to see it in a different way.” Or, “This part of the plan might cause some pain, but I think it’s for the best.”

Many times when I ask employees how their leader can be more effective, they say how “revealing yourself and what’s on your mind” is important to them. In leadership assessments, people write

• “Express your opinions more. You are too quiet.”

• “Larry should share more of his thoughts and ideas with us. He sometimes tends to sit back.”

• “You’re cheating us by not sharing your knowledge.”

• “I’ve worked with her for a year and still don’t feel like I know her. Will the real Susan please stand up?”

Through most of his 30-year career, Gary Burd, senior vice president of business practices at the American Cancer Society’s Eastern Division, successfully connected with people and built strong relationships with his peers and followers. However, when a triple bypass forced him to reconsider his energy output, Burd focused on the necessary tasks, got complacent about his work relationships, and was content to sit back quietly in meetings. In a 360-degree survey, what Burd calls a “big wakeup call,” he learned that people wanted to hear more of his thoughts and opinions and thought that he could work harder to cultivate relationships with them. “I can do that,” Burd thought out loud in our coaching session. “Why am I not doing that?”

Burd’s plan for improvement included doing things like scheduling one-on-one meetings with peers to exchange ideas, adding an extra 30 minutes to appointments at other American Cancer Society locations so that he could casually stop by people’s offices, sitting next to different people at the senior executive dinners that were held every 2 months, making phone calls to peers to ask for their opinions on new projects he was creating, and during internal meetings, intentionally sharing his ideas and opinions. Not long after he began enacting the plan, Burd was a little preoccupied at a particular meeting and did not say much. Afterwards, one of his colleagues said to him, “Gary, we didn’t hear from you today. Are you okay?”

“Sounds like they like the new you,” I said to Burd. In fact, his boss, the organization’s CEO, had already acknowledged that he and others liked the changes they were seeing.

One newly appointed vice president of customer care for a consumer products company was widely regarded as very intelligent and as having a wealth of industry knowledge.

“Nobody knows the business better than Kim,” the company’s vice president of operations said. Yet Kim’s peers revealed in a 360-degree assessment that they did not fully trust her and were not confident about her as a team member. Even her boss was questioning his having promoted her to the position.

Kim’s problem stemmed mostly from her lack of willingness to speak up in meetings, share her knowledge, and reveal her thoughts on issues. According to her team and boss, Kim would sit in an entire meeting and say nothing.

“Why are you doing that? Surely you have opinions,” she was asked.

“Well, first of all, I am more of a listener. And second, why should I say something just for the sake of saying something?”

Not only was Kim quiet about business issues, she also was not sharing personal information either.

“Do you take time to talk with people about yourself and your family? What you enjoy doing?”

“There’s not much to say really. We live pretty quiet.” Kim’s quiet and reserved nature was hurting her peer relationships. Leaders who do not exchange information and share their knowledge, thoughts, and opinions do not own up to the reciprocal agreement in the relationship—it is a give and take. Like Kim, you may be shy or not understand how withholding information shuts off other people. Often we have certain ways of thinking that can keep us from wanting to share about our life outside work. Do you have these thoughts?

• I feel that it is important to keep my work life separate from my personal life.

• I am a very private person.

• I respect their privacy; they should respect mine.

• We are here to work together, not to be friends.

• I do not want to waste the company’s time on chitchat.

Listening has always been touted as a vital leadership skill, but talking can be underrated. A mind set that reflects a work–personal life dichotomy makes it difficult to see value in engaging with people and sharing your personal side; but you cannot simply park your personality at the door. As leaders learn and grow, they should push their knowledge downward, sharing their secrets for success, grasp of the industry, and hard-won lessons. Followers usually want to hear them. Certainly this puts the onus on leaders to know their story— and share their story.