The My Time, Your Time, Our Time Rule

I l @ ve RuBoard

From an early age, we taught our children an important rule. The children were taught that there is "my time" or the time when mom works and needs some quiet and some space, "your time" when mom does the things the children want, and "our time" when the kids and mom do things together. To keep an eye on our kids , we often set up space in our home offices so that they could play quietly (that's a lie) around us. In Kathy's office, she set up a small child's picnic table so that her son could color , do puzzles, and build while she worked at her desk. For Erica, her office is directly off the living room. She set the kids up with toys, a video, and some snacks on those days when a project had to be finished.

60 Seconds with AnneMarie Walsh

Artist and author of A Mother's Wisdom , AnneMarie had her challenges in raising two boys, Tommy and Matthew, as she was trying to complete her book. One day while working from her home office, AnneMarie was ambushed by her sons and 10 of their closest buddies . Pushed out of the office, she went and sat down in a child's rocking chair and tried to continue where she had left off. Suddenly there was screaming at the front door. It seems her son Matthew's friend was afraid of dogs and took off down the street at the sight of their bassett hound puppy . The pup, in turn , took off after the young boy. When AnneMarie tried to get up from the tiny rocking chair, she found herself quite stuck. Concerned that the little boy could trip or get hurt, AnneMarie raced out the front door with the rocking chair tightly wrapped around her tail end. This is a story her boys still love to tell to anyone who might listen.

Both of us learned quickly that when children are underfoot or under your desk, be prepared for the unexpected. Sometimes no matter how well you try to coordinate work and children, it all will backfire. (For sanity -saving suggestions on what to do when all else fails, see Plan B in Chapter 4.) Like the day Erica's kids covered the dog in Post-its or the day Kathy's daughter drew all over her body with a permanent black marker and proudly presented herself to mom during a meeting ”naked. But those incidents were fun and fixable and often pretty hilarious. The bottom line for us is that we are both okay with chaos even on those days when it doesn't feel so funny . The reason is that we see it as a tradeoff . We made the decision to deal with the interruptions and the pandemonium rather than to work away from our children. That is a compromise that works well for us most of the time, but it may not work well for others. Some people don't have the temperament for shenanigans ”and you probably know who you are. Others have jobs that don't permit constant interruptions and background noises. It all depends on what your job is and what "environmental" conditions you can tolerate .

If you are concerned about your children going out a door without you hearing them, try hanging bells on your door knobs and sliding glass doors. The jingle of those bells will alert you that a door is being opened.

Here is a fast checklist to help you decide whether or not you can go it alone. Keep in mind that deciding whether or not to have help is not a test for good parenting. Don't feel guilty if you need a quiet, empty house a few hours a day to get your work done.

  Yes No
1. Am I required to work a traditional 9 to 5 day? ___ ___
2. Are my children home all day? ___ ___
3. Do I have a child under three years old? ___ ___
4. Does my business depend on being available to take phone calls (i.e., realtor, publicist)? ___ ___
5. Do I live near water (i.e., pool, canal, lake) or high up with a terrace or balcony ? ___ ___
6. Would it hurt my professional image if children's voices were heard in the background? ___ ___
7. Would I describe my child as particularly active? ___ ___
8. Am I able to work at night or when the kids have gone to bed? ___ ___
9. Does my job involve deadlines? ___ ___
10. Does my job involve the handling of anything that could be dangerous to a child (i.e., heat, chemicals)? ___ ___

Sometimes it is easier to make a decision when you see it in black and white. Take a look at your yes and no responses and see if your answers shed some light on what you need. If you live near water (that includes your pool) and have a job that demands you be on the phone and you have an active toddler, then it is wise to either (a) get some help in the house or (b) enroll your child in a program for a few hours a day. On the other hand, if your job involves writing or graphics, the hours are flexible, and your child is enrolled in preschool, then you can probably make do without help or babysitters. As we all know too well, children can get into mischief in about 10 seconds. What really matters when making the decision to go it alone or to get some help is the safety and well-being of your children.

I l @ ve RuBoard


The 60-Second Commute. A Guide to Your 24.7 Home Office Life
The 60-Second Commute: A Guide to Your 24/7 Home Office Life
ISBN: 013130321X
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 155

flylib.com © 2008-2017.
If you may any questions please contact us: flylib@qtcs.net