Don t Attack Your Counterpart - Attack the Problem

Don't Attack Your Counterpart - Attack the Problem

Do separate the people from the negotiation. We need to support people, and attack the problem. Understand, use phrases like 'We really want the business to go through', then attack the problem.

There is a five-step process that can help us if we encounter some sticky personal problem or confrontation during the negotiation dialogue:

  1. Listen to deflate. Often, when confrontation arises, the other person's emotions intensify. If we react to them we will allow the hot air of emotion to inflate the issue beyond its real size and importance.

  2. Sympathise or empathise, and confirm the details. You might say, 'I think I understand, and if I were in your shoes I would probably feel the same. From what you are saying, the problem could be summarised like this... Did I get that right?' Now the tension is defused, and we are ready once again to move forward. We have identified ourselves with their feelings and made it clear that it is quite all right to feel that way.

  3. Formulate and offer a proposed solution. Or respond with an approach of a specific trading suggestion: 'If you... then we...'

  4. Action any agreement made - be responsible for it.

  5. Confirm any details verbally and then be seen to write them down.

Avoid reacting to confrontation or sensitive moments. That way you will avoid attacking individuals. Where you can, try to avoid jumping to self-defence. When in that position, never use inflammatory phrases like 'You let me down.' Instead, use phrases like 'I feel let down.' The five-step process will produce facts rather than feelings and cooperation rather than confrontation.

Your counterpart will almost certainly dislike the tension of these moments. They can be quite unnerving. Try to produce an environment in which you support each other and you jointly attack any real or perceived problem.



How to Negotiate Effectively
How to Negotiate Effectively (Creating Success)
ISBN: 0749448202
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 111
Authors: David Oliver

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