Planning the Style Conversation

People s stylistic preferences affect how they learn, communicate, influence others, and make decisions. In the style conversation, your agenda will be to determine how you and your boss can best work together on a continuing basis. This was the key challenge that Michael Chen faced in working out his relationship with Vaughan Cates. Even if your boss never becomes a close friend or mentor, it is essential that he or she respect your professional capabilities.

Diagnose Your Boss s Style

The first step is to diagnose your new boss s working style and to figure out how it jibes with your own. If you leave voicemail messages for her about an urgent problem and she doesn t respond quickly, but then reproaches you for not giving her a heads-up about the problem, take note: Your boss doesn t use voicemail!

How does your boss like to communicate? How often? What kinds of decisions does your boss want to be involved in, and when can you make calls on your own? Does your boss arrive at the office early and work late? Does he or she expect others to do the same?

Pinpoint the specific ways in which your styles differ and what those differences imply about how you will interact. Suppose you prefer to learn by talking with knowledgeable people, whereas your boss relies more on reading and analyzing hard data. What kinds of misunderstandings and problems might this stylistic difference cause and how can you avoid them? Or suppose your new boss tends to micromanage while you prefer a lot of independence. What can you do to manage this tension?

You may find it helpful to talk to others who have worked with your boss in the past. Naturally, you have to do this judiciously. Be careful not to be perceived as eliciting criticism of how the boss manages . Stick to less fraught issues, such as how the boss prefers to communicate. Listen to others perspectives, but base your evolving strategy chiefly on your own experience.

Observe too how your boss deals with others. Is there consistency? If not, why not? Does the boss have favorites? Is he particularly prone to micromanaging certain issues? Has he come down hard on a few people because of unacceptable performance?

Scope Out the Dimensions of Your Box

Your boss will have a comfort zone about involvement in decision making. Think of this zone as defining the boundaries of the decision-making box in which you will operate . What sorts of decisions does your boss want you to make on your own but tell her about? Are you free, for example, to make key personnel decisions? When does she want to be consulted before you decide? Is it when your actions touch on broader issues of policy ”for example, in granting people leave? Or when there are hot political issues associated with some of the projects you are working on? When does she want to make the decision herself?

Initially, expect to be confined to a relatively small box. As your new boss gains confidence in you, the dimensions of the box should increase. If not, or if it remains too small to allow you to be effective, you may have to address the issue directly.

Adapt to Your Boss s Style

Assume that the job of building a positive relationship with your new boss is 100 percent your responsibility. In short, this means adapting to his or her style. If your boss hates voicemail, don t use it. If he or she wants to know in detail what is going on, overcommunicate. Do not do anything that could compromise your ability to achieve superior business results, but do look for opportunities to smooth the day-to-day workings of your relationship. Others who have worked with your boss can tell you what approaches they found successful. Then judiciously experiment with the tactics that seem most promising in your case. When in doubt, simply ask your boss how he or she would prefer you to proceed.

Address the Difficult Issues

When serious style differences arise, it is best to address them directly. Otherwise, you run the risk that your boss will interpret a style difference as disrespect or even incompetence on your part. Raise the style issue before it becomes a source of irritation, and talk with your boss about how to accommodate both your styles. This conversation can smooth the path for both of you to achieve your goals.

One proven strategy is to focus your early conversations on goals and results, instead of how you achieve them. You might simply say that you expect to notice differences in how the two of you approach certain issues or decisions, but that you are completely committed to achieving the results to which you have both agreed. An assertion of this kind prepares your boss to expect differences. You may have to remind your boss periodically to focus on the results you are achieving, not on your methods .

It may also help to judiciously discuss style issues with someone your boss trusts, who can enlighten you about potential issues and solutions before you raise them directly with your boss. If you find the right adviser, he or she may even help you broach a difficult issue in a nonthreatening manner.

Don t make the mistake of trying to address all style issues in a single conversation. Nevertheless, a dialogue explicitly devoted to style is an excellent place to start. Expect to continue to be attentive to, and adapt to, the boss s style as your relationship evolves.