Buy the Truth


People have a lot of misconceptions about negotiating. For one thing, they tend to see it as some exotic, mysterious art. Hey, I like to be considered exotic and mysterious as much as the next guy, but the truth is, negotiating is not rocket science, even if you do it for NASA. You can learn the basics by taking classes and reading books—mine included. You can get better at it by thinking about what you’re doing, and by practicing.

Another big misconception—a huge misconception I run into all the time in my classes on hostage and business negotiation—is that negotiating is about fooling someone. Salesmen, who basically are negotiators, have a horrible reputation these days. Most people walking into a store or onto a car lot think they’re going to be ripped off or somehow conned. I’m not saying that con artists don’t exist, or that unscrupulous salesmen aren’t out there—hey, I’ve dealt with them myself. But the attitude that you’re going to be ripped off no matter what you do is self-defeating. It leads you not to do your homework properly, and it puts you in a frame of mind that isn’t going to help you negotiate.

What you’re doing is making yourself a victim. Ironic, isn’t it? By thinking you’re going to get screwed, you put yourself in a position where that may happen.

If, instead, you go in thinking you’re going to find a solution to an issue—buying a car, negotiating a raise, finding health-care coverage you can live with—then you’re on the road to reaching your goal.

Coming from the other direction, the customer’s notion that he’s going to be ripped off is often the salesman’s biggest obstacle. Call it the fear factor or a siege mentality or a “me against the world” attitude; overcoming it is the key to a successful sale or negotiation. To break past it, you have to demonstrate concern and you have to be truthful. You sell the truth, not con the buyer or “mark.”

Cops deal with the me-against-the-world attitude all the time. It’s the first hurdle for a police department’s hostage negotiator to overcome. He arrives on the scene with all these people pointing guns at each other and has to convince the guy inside that he’s not going to get shot. It’s not a con game—the subject won’t be shot as long as he agrees to act a certain way. The negotiator is simply finding a way to sell the truth to that individual.

That’s what the words “Talk to me” are all about.




Negotiate and Win. Proven Strategies from the NYPD's Top Hostage Negotiator
Negotiate and Win: Proven Strategies from the NYPDs Top Hostage Negotiator
ISBN: 0071737774
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2003
Pages: 180

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