Negotiate and Win: Proven Strategies from the NYPDs Top Hostage Negotiator - page 163


Index

D

Deadlines, 18, 130–133

of other side, reading, 131–133

real, determining, 131

Deal breakers:

backside, 128–129

dealing with up front, 127–128

delaying dealing with, 128

determining, 129–130

Demands, 121–123

asking for, 123–125

danger of assumptions and, 125

meeting, 122–123

as needs, 122

negotiating team roles and, 126

outrageous, 126–130

Dignity of hostage, reinstating in hostage taker’s eyes, 105–107

Documentation, 20–21

Domestic incidents, 105

Dress of negotiator, message sent by, 29–30



Index

E

Eating, importance of, 146

Ego:

dangers of, 144–145

usefulness of, 145

Ego play, 18

E-mail, communicating with hostage takers by, 28

Emotionally disturbed people, 109–112

Emotions:

admitting to, 80

closing and, 69–70

giving away, 79–80

listening for, 77–78

mirroring, 78–79, 81–82

in negotiators, 116–117

of others, controlling, 80–81

removing from situation, 148

Environment (see Setting)



Index

F

Familiarity of setting, 28–29

Floater, 15

Flow of negotiations, 65–66

Fluid intake, importance of, 146–147

Funnel, 133–135



Index

G

Goals:

commander’s setting of, 19, 42

focusing on, 71, 143–144, 170–171

realistic, 21–22

stating up front, 160

sticking with, 160–161



Index

H

Honesty, importance of, 90–91

Hostage:

avoiding becoming, 176–177, 179–180

dignity of, reinstating in hostage taker’s eyes, 105–107

Hostage takers:

demands of (see Demands)

emotional reaction to, 148

personality of, 103–104

types of, 104–107

with undefined wants, 114–115



Index

I

Inadequate personalities, 112–113

Initial intelligence, 41–42, 43–44

Instant messaging, communicating with hostage takers by, 28

Intelligence:

importance of, 164–165

initial, 41–42, 43–44



Index

L

Laughter to break tension, 146

Listening, 75–78

active, 78

building rapport by, 91–92

for emotions, 77–78

personal chatter and, 92–94

Long-term perspective, 26–27, 130–131

Lying, avoidance of, 48–50



Index

M

Manipulation, 169–170

Mental comfort, 32–34

Mental space, shifting, 32

Mirroring, 78–79, 81–82



Index

N

Needs:

hostage takers’ demands as, 122

wants versus, 161–163

Negotiable/non-negotiable points, determining, 47–48

Negotiable points, determining, 44–45

Negotiating jobs, 15–17

Negotiation phase, 60, 61–62

Nonhostage mindset, 179–180

Nonjudgmental approach, 47

Non-negotiable points:

determining, 44–45, 47–48

standard, 122



Index

O

Objectivity, 17

Open-ended questions to keep conversations going, 83

Outs:

when to take, 161

deciding on, 45–46



Index

P

Pace of negotiations, slowing, 62–63

Parameters:

changing of, 63–64

setting, 42

Paranoid schizophrenia, 110

Patience, negotiator’s need for, 62–63

Pauses for emphasis, 82

Personality, 103–104

Phases of negotiation, 60, 61–62

(See also Closing; Containment; Negotiation phase)

Phone, communicating with hostage takers by, 27–28

Planning, before starting negotiations, 34–35

Politeness, toward hostage takers, 53–54

Position of strength, 25

Practicing negotiation skills, 84–85

Preparation, 32–34

Pressure, dealing with, 66, 133

Primary negotiator, 15

Professional criminals, 104

Professionalism in negotiation, 107–109

Promises:

explicit and unspoken, 51

importance of keeping, 50–51