We prefer to be praised rather than punished, and prefer to be punished rather than ignored.
DR. JOYCE BROWN
Do no reprove him in such a way that you bring sin upon yourself, such as by shaming him through reproving him in public.
A. S. HARTOM
The most challenging and important communication skill is the ability to let people know when you are
Do it soon. Don't let the problem fester. Your relationship with your
Do it in private. Allowing other people to see and hear the discussion will exacerbate the problem and involve more people than are needed.
Get an
Be specific. Tell the employee exactly what you know without diluting your thoughts into generalities. If possible, give
Be assertive. Work hard to
Using the "I" word, never the "you" word. Saying "I have a problem and need your help" will
Speaking with a firm,
Maintaining eye contact.
Projecting confidence in your
Choose your words
Involve the person in finding a satisfactory solution. Ask how he can help. Don't tell him how to solve the problem, as this will reduce the buy-in necessary to have the issue resolved.
Check and clarify key discussion points so there will be no misunderstanding.
Summarize your understanding with agreements. You could say, "So what I'm hearing you say is —. Is that correct?"
Summarize the discussion at the end so that you both clearly understand what was said and what was agreed upon.
Acknowledge the person afterwards when her behaviour is in accordance with your agreement.
Getting feedback is probably the greatest opportunity for you to grow, learn, and improve your relationships with others. Why? Because you are constantly being given feedback. It happens daily. To ignore it is to lose the opportunity to adjust your behaviour and attitudes. Here is how to take full advantage of messages others are giving you:
Be receptive to feedback. If you're not sure how you're doing, ask people you trust to evaluate you.
Listen, listen, listen. Let the person giving feedback finish before you interrupt. Listen to be influenced. If the information is
When the feedback is done, summarize and echo back to the "giver" your understanding of what he has said.
Thank the person for the feedback. Let her know how useful it was. More important, tell her how you're going to use the information to change and improve.
Try not to explain the reason for doing less than expected. Take time to think, so your emotions can be put aside.
Ask the person who gave you the feedback to give you feedback later on, particularly if he sees a change.