Kids Want Parental Input


Some people think kids don't value their parents' opinions, but data suggests that this isn't true. Boys & Girls Clubs of America recently conducted a survey of 46,000 13- to 18-year-oldslikely the biggest sample in U.S. historyto mark its centennial. The organization's Youth Report to America, published in March 2006, states that 48 percent of American teens said their parents and guardians "significantly influence their decisions." Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, said of the study, "Youth value the opinions of their adult mentors, especially their parents' opinion."

Keeping an open line of communication shouldn't happen just during special times when you and your kids sit down to talk about Internet safety; it's about your entire relationship. How you talk with your kids about everything, your interest in their activities, and conversations over dinner are all part of how we parents help our children grow into adults. At the end of the day, Internet safety isn't about rules; it's about critical thinking skills. Children need to learn to think for themselvesto protect themselves and to internalize those values that will help transform them into safe, careful, and caring adults.

In addition to communicating openly with your kids, we recommend sharing some online guidelines. "" (from BlogSafety.com) lists six guidelines (see the sidebar). If you want to keep things really simple, make sure your teens are aware of the two cardinal rules of online safety:

  • Never reveal personally identifiable information, such as your name, address, or phone number (including your cell phone number).

  • Be extremely careful about face-to-face meetings with people you meet online.

BlogSafety.com also offers social-networking tips for parents (see the sidebar on Page 134).

Safe Blogging Tips for Teens

(from BlogSafety.com)

Be as anonymous as possible. Avoid posting information that could enable a stranger to locate you. That information includes your last name, the name of your school, local sports teams, the town you live in, and where you hang out.

Protect your information. Check to see whether your service has a friends list that allows you to control who can visit your profile or blog. If so, allow only people you know and trust. If you don't use privacy features, anyone can see your information, including people with bad intentions.

Avoid in-person meetings. Don't get together with someone you "meet" in a profile or blog unless you are certain of his or her actual identity. Although it's still not risk free, if you do meet the person, arrange the meeting in a public place, and bring some friends along.

Photos: Think before posting. What's uploaded to the Net can be downloaded by anyone and passed around or posted online pretty much forever. Avoid posting photos that allow people to identify you (for example, when they're searching for your high school), especially sexually suggestive images. Before uploading a photo, think about how you'd feel if it were seen by a parent or grandparent, college admissions counselor, or future employer.

Check comments regularly. If you allow comments on your profile or blog, check them often. Don't respond to mean or embarrassing comments. Delete them, and if possible, block offensive people from commenting further.

Be honest about your age. Membership rules exist to protect people. If you are too young to sign up, do not attempt to lie about your age. Talk with your parents about alternative sites that may be appropriate for you.


Social-Networking Tips for Parents

(from BlogSafety.com)

In addition to laying down some guidelines for kids, we also have some tips for parents:

  • Be reasonable, and try to set reasonable expectations. Pulling the plug on children's Internet activities is rarely a good first response to a problem; it's too easy for them to go underground and establish free messaging and social-networking accounts at a friend's house or many other places.

  • Be open with your teens, and encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem online. Cultivate trust and communication; no rules, laws, or filtering software can replace you as their first line of defense. Teaching your kids to be critical thinkers about their safety will pay dividends for years to come.

  • Talk with your kids about how they use the services. Make sure that they understand basic Internet and social-networking safety guidelines. These include protecting privacy (including passwords), never posting personally identifying information, avoiding in-person meetings with people they meet online, and not posting inappropriate or potentially embarrassing photos. Suggest that they use the services' privacy tools to share information only with people they know from the real world and that they never admit "friends" to their pages unless they are certain who those people are.

  • Consider requiring that all online activity take place in a central area of the home, not in a kid's bedroom. Be aware that there are also ways kids can access the Internet away from home, including on many phones, game players, and other portable devices.

  • Try to get your kids to share their blogs or online profiles with you, but be aware that they can have multiple accounts on multiple services. Use search engines and the search tools on social-networking sites to search for your child's full name, phone number, and other identifying information.





MySpace Unraveled. A Parent's Guide to Teen Social Networking from the Directors of BlogSafety. com
MySpace Unraveled: A Parents Guide to Teen Social Networking
ISBN: 032148018X
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2004
Pages: 91

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