LEADERS WHO SCREAM

Another behavior that must be challenged is chronic screaming by a leader. Explosive anger is intimidating and tears the fabric of relationships. Things get done, but at a very heavy price. The virtue in leaders who scream is their passion for the cause and their desire to shake up people who serve it complacently. Followers understand this. It is partly why they stay with strong leaders despite the extreme unpleasantness of the screaming behavior. Frequent angry outbursts, however, weaken both the self-esteem of followers and their bond with the leader. Abusive upbraiding is antithetical to the spirit of creative challenge. Innovative teams are not built of players who cower.

Followers are usually shocked and angry at the leader’s abusive behavior. They do not realize that once a screaming pattern is established it is no longer under the leader’s conscious control. The leader is often inwardly as dismayed by the outbursts as are the followers. It is true the leader is using anger to get his way, but he is not necessarily in control of the anger. Leaders may justify their rage in the name of the cause, but it is not justified. It is just out of control. For this reason injunctions against berating staff in front of others often fail.

Therefore, we should not allow new leaders to develop screaming patterns, but should challenge this behavior the first time it occurs. The norms preventing screaming loosen when one becomes the leader. The real and imagined pressures increase. This is a fertile mix for a screaming pattern to take hold unless it is immediately checked. If the leader is already established, but the follower is new to her position, she should follow the same rule and nip the behavior the first time it is directed at her.

The challenge for the follower is to maintain balance, to not freeze, and to not let the tantrum run unchecked. A follower can sometimes successfully impose limits on what is occurring until the leader regains self-control. The tendency, when confronted with a screaming authority figure, is to regress to the affect of a scolded child. It is critical to remain in an adult posture. Physical bearing, eye contact, tone of voice, and language can all help achieve this.

“[John, Mr. Brown, Sir—whatever you usually call the leader], I want to discuss this. It’s clearly very important to you. But I won’t discuss it like this.”

If the leader can’t calm down: “Let me give you a few minutes to collect yourself and I’ll be back to address your concerns.”

Sometimes we need to risk screaming back at the leader, as this restores an adult balance to the relationship—though not an optimal one.

It is noteworthy that there are individuals with whom even renowned screamers will not display the behavior. If a follower challenges a leader firmly to treat her with respect, she may prevent an abusive pattern from taking hold in relation to herself. If the leader continues to scream at others, the courageous follower can use her own firm stand against screaming to help the leader contain his dysfunctional behavior. The follower who is not the immediate target of abuse is psychologically in a stronger position to respond.

If present when the leader explodes at a more junior person, a courageous follower can choose how to intervene. Some possibilities are:

Make a firm statement and physically remove the abused person: “Excuse me. These are serious accusations. Let me establish the precise facts of what happened with ___________ and get back to you in a few minutes. Please excuse us while we talk in the next room.”

Ask to speak with the leader privately, then and there. Once in private, confront the leader about the behavior: “You clearly have reason to be upset. But dealing with it this way is hurting you and the organization.”

Intervening in these ways interrupts the destructive pattern and allows the leader to absorb the fact that the behavior is unacceptable in the eyes of third parties. In some cases, challenging the behavior will have a calming effect and the leader may stop displaying the behavior as frequently. In other cases, the leader may need additional help to regain control of and transform these excessive reactions, a case that we will examine in the next chapter.

Nearly everyone has worked at some time with a screamer. There are still plenty of screamers around but, like cigarette and cigar smoking, it is becoming much less acceptable. In addition, like the health risks of secondhand smoke, it is attracting the lawsuits one can expect in our litigious society. There are ways to get the job done that are healthier for everyone than screaming.