Chapter 3: Cranky Coworkers


John, a director-level operations manager, wakes up at 6 a.m., goes for a run, takes a shower, gets dressed, and meets his wife and children in the breakfast room for a quick bite and coffee before the start of their day. John asks each of his children about their plans—little Johnny is going on a field trip; little Janie has softball practice after school. Then John and his wife, Jane, share their plans for the day. Jane says, “I’ll be presenting an annual review to my biggest client today; wish me luck.” John says, “Good luck, honey; I know you’ll knock ’em dead. I have a big day too—I’m planning on being an irritating, belligerent, and arrogant pain today.”

Getting Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed

Just about every organization has at least one cranky character, ranging from the occasionally annoying to the downright cantankerous. But does anyone go to work intent on holding the title of “office pain”?

Most cranky coworkers do not plan to be difficult. They are simply unaware of their own behavior, just as they are unaware of the impact of their actions and words on others. They also do not realize how harmful their actions may be to their own career success.

Surprisingly, there are understated benefits in their behaviors: All of them are great lessons for us when we think about these encounters as mirrors of our own idiosyncrasies. Often the troublesome behaviors of others reflect back to us our own unattractive behavior. If you are troubled by a complainer, how often do you complain about your own life? If you are blasted by a bully, what aggressive behaviors in your own life need softening? This concept is something to think about as you fine-tune the skills for dealing with the cranky coworker in your life.

In the Hectic Pursuit of Peace of Mind

Do not deny it; we each have an ornery person inside us at times. We can all be overloaded at work, rushed at home, and burdened by a set of external expectations that seem never-ending. If you are struggling to live the “perfect lifestyle,” which is possible only with the right car, the right home, the right job, the right physique, and the right beer, you may also be tied to a compulsion to earn, spend, and constantly strive for more of the material things to cover a fear of inadequacy.

This crazy process of unrealistic external expectations can result in our demonstrating a superior attitude at work and at home. I have done it myself, and I became self-righteously angry when the world treated me differently from what I believed was my entitlement. If you are in this cycle, take the time to ask yourself, “How’s that working for me?”

I Am Not Irritable!

Just how irritable are you, and what sets you off? Take the Irritability Test (Exhibit 3-1) to determine your IQ score, and check back here for the results.

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Exhibit 3-1: How Irritable Are You?

Answer all of the questions using the following scale:

1 point: I would feel a little bothered

3 points: I would feel angry

2 points: I would feel annoyed

4 points: I would feel furious

___

In a team meeting, your boss harshly corrects (and embarrasses) you, yet similar actions by your teammates go unnoticed.

___

You are rushed but ready to leave for work, and you find that you do not have enough gas to make it to the corner, much less the office.

___

You are sharing an important issue with someone on the phone, and you can hear that the person you are speaking to is typing on the computer.

___

You and your friend have agreed to attend a concert; you made the arrangements and paid for the tickets, and you are ready to go. That day, your friend calls to say that a dream date has just appeared, and he or she backs out at the last minute, leaving you hanging.

___

You achieve a great success at work, and your boss takes the credit.

___

You are stopped at a red traffic light, and the person in front of you does not notice the light has changed because he is talking on his cell phone. Now you have both missed the green light.

___

Your colleague makes a mistake and blames it on you.

___

You lend someone your favorite book, and she or he does not return it.

___

You are in a serious discussion with colleagues, and one of them will not let you get a word in edgewise.

___

You are running late, but you need to stop at the grocery store for a few items. You have less than 10 items to purchase and you have cash, so you head for the quick-check, 10-items-or-less-cash-only aisle. As you make your way to the queue, another shopper, with at least 15 items in his cart, pushes in front of you. And he has to write a check. And he does not have a pen. And he does not have ID.

___

Total Score

Scoring Key

0–12. If you scored 12 or under, you are either in a perpetual Zen state or in denial. Zen is great; denial is not. Denial is a powerful way to avoid responsibility. The battle cry of the person in denial is, “Don’t blame me!” For a professional or executive, this pattern of denial can result in finger pointing and blame management. If you are a professional who is in denial, you may believe yourself to be more flexible, responsible, trustworthy, and credible than others may observe you to be. Know your emotional status, and face your strengths and limitations with an eye toward learning, growing, and improving yourself and your life.

13–24. If you scored in this range, you have found a way to practice awareness and self-awareness. You know what is going on around you, and you understand what is going on inside of you. You have self-respect, and you demonstrate respect and empathy for others. You have learned to detach—you do not take people personally, and you do not take their problems, including denial, personally.

25 or over. If your score was over 25, your reactions to life’s difficulties and aggravations may be more angry or aggressive than the average. If you find you experience repeated angry reactions that do not quickly soften, you may have the reputation of having a very short fuse—and being an anger machine is not good for the reputation.

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How to Shine at Work
How to Shine at Work
ISBN: 0071408657
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2006
Pages: 132

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