Section 2: Trust Others and Give People the Benefit of the Doubt

Overview

Linda felt like she was slowly becoming paranoid because her supervisor kept reducing her working hours. It felt as if she wasn’t trusted or supported any more although she was one of the most experienced employees. Ultimately, she was let go.

Her supervisor let Linda go partly because she had a habit of assuming the worst in every situation. When a co-worker came back late from a break, Linda thought it was because he or she was trying to sabotage the company. When Linda’s supervisor had to reduce her hours due to declining revenues, Linda thought it was really because her supervisor didn’t like her.

The supervisor saw this was affecting Linda’s morale and everyone Linda worked with as well. She was giving a bad presence to customers so it was best to remove her from her job.

Unfortunately, this type of behavior is all too real. Linda was not making an attempt to understand why others did certain things. She jumped to conclusions that assumed the worst. Advice columns are built on people who assume that the universe is out to get them, nobody makes dumb mistakes, or that there are no different ways of looking at things. Sometimes it seems paranoia reigns supreme.

Most people do the best they know how based on their environment and what they think they are supposed to be doing. Mistakes and problems with adults usually arise from different goals and misunderstanding one another’s situations.

If this is the case, then problems with others are not because the others are incompetent: it is because we do not share rich communication around common goals. And this is usually no one’s fault. It is just the natural result of diverse people working in large organizations.

There are a number of tools that can help highlight the different approaches and goals of diverse people. Are you frustrated by others who cannot seem to understand what you are trying to say? Do others approach decision-making in different ways? Assessment tools, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (popular in many large organizations), can help you compare your natural style with others and understand how to better communicate with others in your organization. Many other assessment tools are available––each with its own purpose and insight.

This concept of trusting others can be expanded to communities, countries, and even the world. Most of the conflicts we experience on the national and international levels do not exist because one party is right and the other wrong. It is because nations do not share a common view of what is right and wrong in the first place. This is why cultures and political systems are different. No particular system is inherently better or worse––they are each trying to achieve different goals.

This principle can be successfully applied to upper management and their decisions. Most managers are highly capable, motivated individuals. Many of the problems people have with management decisions is that they are based on a significantly different view of what is healthy for the organization and how success is measured. Sure, the way decisions are implemented often could be improved, but leaders’ trade-offs between constituencies, customers, employees, and affordability present a huge challenge for even the most capable person.

Moving from giving people the benefit of the doubt to trusting them is not easy. It is possible to strive toward this by seeking to understand your colleagues, to avoid the trap of denigrating people to others, and to ultimately be openly supportive. When you do this consistently over time, you build bridges of trust.

When you understand others’ points of view, you become much more tolerant of their behavior. You do not tend to assume the worst about others’ contributions or treat problems as personal affronts. This can give you a great deal of emotional energy to expend on your own passions rather than spending it on things you cannot change.

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.

—Frank Crane