Protecting Yourself


Because cybercriminals exploit weakness and prey on vulnerabilities, it's important that you and your family understand that broadcasting fears and insecurities online to strangers is a bad idea. Just as walking down the street with an assertive, self-confident air will discourage a mugger from picking you out as a victim, projecting a positive attitude online will help you avoid an online predator.

Watch Your Own Behavior

If you make an online "friend" who seems to make it his business to learn your likes, dislikes, and preferences, and then flatters you, think twice about that person's motivations. Gifts and money are inappropriate from somebody you don't know. You should know that, and your kids should, too.

If you are publishing content that you make available to the public, avoid giving clues to your feelings. Text clues to your emotions are phrases such as "I'm sad," "I'm lonely," or "I just had a fight with my parents [or spouse, or boyfriend]." Use of emoticons (see Figure 6-2) that suggest a vulnerable emotional state can increase your potential risk. Even your body language in a photo can show your emotional state.

Figure 6-2. Emoticons add dimension to your online conversations but can also make you vulnerable to manipulation by predators.


Find Out More

See Chapter 18, "It Takes Everyone to Make a Safe Internet," for guidance on creating a family discussion guide that helps you and your family recognize warning signs of predators preying on your kids' emotions.


Of course, the most difficult aspect of the fact that predators exploit your emotions is that those who are emotionally vulnerable don't always show good judgment. If a child feels alienated from his or her parents, or a wife from her husband, for example, the lack of support and affection in their lives is what puts them at risk, and that can't be fixed overnight. Others also at risk include those struggling with depression, anxiety, or loneliness, and especially boys struggling with questions about their own sexuality (Lanning, 2001). But if you and your family are at least informed about the ways that predators play on these vulnerabilities, you might help avoid the emotional and physical abuse that will only add to the emotional burden that already exists.

Think About It

A service that allows users to send gifts or in any other way reward others might expose them to the grooming activity a predator uses to build trust with a potential victim.


Looking for Telltale Signs

Evidence of exploitation or grooming is not always easy to spot. Here are some signs to look for that might indicate children are becoming victims of predatory behavior. However, keep in mind that many of these signs are also fairly typical online teen behavior. These are things you should be aware of and that are worth discussing, but the actions alone aren't proof that predation is occurring:

  • Your child spends large amounts of time online, especially at night, and is secretive about whom they are communicating with.

  • You find pornography on the computer.

  • Your child receives gifts or mail from someone you don't know, or from someone you do know but who you might not expect to pay your child that kind of attention.

  • Your child gets phone calls from or places long distance calls to a person you don't know.

  • Your child becomes even more withdrawn from the family, possibly also alienating themselves from their friends.

  • Your child sets up alternate or additional user accounts.

Getting the Message Across to Your Kids

How do you convince your children to avoid sharing too much information with people they don't know online? Several times, when I've seen blogs where kids have exposed themselves to risk, I've placed this comment: "Imagine the creepiest stranger you can think of. If you ran into this person on a dark street, would you share this kind of information with him? If the answer is no, why are you placing it in public on the Internet?" In every case, those teens had made sure their blogs were no longer available to the public within hours.



Look Both Ways. Help Protect Your Family on the Internet
Look Both Ways: Help Protect Your Family on the Internet
ISBN: 0735623473
EAN: 2147483647
Year: 2004
Pages: 157
Authors: Linda Criddle

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