Restarting The Relationship

In Kram's analysis both mentee and mentor continue to have some form of interaction, although it is on a more casual basis. The relationship enters a new stage where the mentee and mentor regard each other as equals. The relationship now develops into a friendship, the two maintaining contact with each other on the basis of mutual advantage rather than upon the primarily one-sided career advantage once offered. The mentee ceases to identify with the mentor, whose weaknesses he or she now recognises alongside the strengths that had seemed so impressive in the early stages of the relationship. The bond of gratitude takes over from the bond of need. When the two become peers in the organisation, uncertainty and discomfort may occur as they adjust to the new role relationship.

This new transition can also be characterised by hostility and resentment between the mentee and the mentor. The mentee may have found it difficult to make a complete break from the mentor. When the two meet again on a more equal footing, the mentee often feels that he or she will fall into the former dependent role. To prevent this, the mentee behaves aggressively to the mentor and the former intimacy is not re-established.

In developmental mentoring, a similar but gentler transition occurs. Mentor and mentee often continue to meet, but now informally, with no organisational support, no agenda, and much lower frequency. When they do meet, it is as equals, whatever their relative status in the organisation - each sees the other as a useful sounding-board, a learning resource and a valuable person in their networks. Meetings will be much more spontaneous and relaxed, less focused, often based upon the fact that they both happen to be in the same place at the same time.