Only Talking


Talking openly (as I observed in Colombia) Is better than talking guardedly (Paraguay) or politely (Canada) or not at all (Basque Country), in that it allows us to see more of the problem and understand it from multiple perspectives. But by itself, talking about a problem does not change anything. Something more is required.

I learned this when I participated in a series of meetings in the Caribbean. The convenors invited sixty prominent leaders , from all walks of life, to talk about what was going on in the region and what they might do about it. The participants spoke with discouragement about their complex mess of problems: poverty, AIDS, drug trafficking , emigration, political factionalism, economic stagnation, and social deterioration. They also spoke with pride about their democracy and free speech: politicians who argued vigorously in Parliament and in public; newspapers that were full of sharp reporting and serious analysis; and ordinary people who spent hours "reasoning," talking openly and at length in their homes and neighborhoods and on call-in radio programs.

Each participant had a thoughtful opinion and spoke up. But they also felt enormous frustration about so much talking producing such poor results. "There is a view in this country," said one former prime minister, "that if you talk about a problem, you've solved it." One woman , a community organizer, said with great conviction and impatience: "We talk here ad nauseum. But there is talk and there is talk. Most of our talk doesn't change anything. What would it take for us to really move forward?"

Most conventional approaches to solving problems emphasize talking, especially the authoritarian, boss or expert, way of talking: telling. In a debate, each party prepares their position and speech in advance and then delivers it to a panel, which chooses the most convincing speech. The same process is used in courtrooms and boardrooms, and in parliaments (except that legislators have usually made up their minds before they hear the speeches). Experts form ideas and present them, and then authorities adjudicate among these already formed ideas. This approach works for deciding between already created alternatives, but it does not create anything new.

The additional element that is required to create something new, and that is ignored in most conventional approaches, is listening.

In late 2002, I attended a small conference on the challenges of globalization. It was a marvelous, diverse group , painstakingly assembled from around the world: politicians, businesspeople, activists, and intellectuals. In the context of the impending war with Iraq, the central, urgent subject was how global problems could be solved peacefully and how the United States could participate in such a process. The objective was to find ways to create a more equitable system of global governance.

The organizer and chairman of the meeting was a sincere and considerate American. He convened a series of panels presenting all perspectives eloquently and provocatively. In the question-and-answer period, he selected participants from the audience whom he thought would have something interesting to say and gave everybody a chance to speak. If he thought that a certain point of view was being neglected, he would emphasize it himself.

The hot issue of the meeting was the behavior of the United States. Many participants sharply criticized the country, and some of the Americans, including one of the meeting's main corporate sponsors, were defensive. The chairman was frightened that the Americans would feel uncomfortable and walk out, and so he asked the critics to tone down their remarks. Then he invited the American sponsor to make the final speech of the meeting. The sponsor presented a confident, sweeping survey of the state of the world, complete with 100 PowerPoint slides.

This meeting failed to achieve its objective of creating forward movement towards a new system of global governance. On the contrary, it succeeded inadvertently in exposing our current flawed system in miniature . In a series of orchestrated monologues, all the main points of view were re-presented, with preference given to the famous. The panelists did not listen to each other but merely waited to give their prepared remarks. Everybody could talk, as long as they did not discomfort the powerful. The American sponsor had the final sayand it was a lecture.

The meeting was organized entirely around talking. No attention was paid to listening: to the process of taking in something new and being unsettled and changed by it. The chairman discouraged impoliteness and discomfort. We ended up with a dialogue of the deaf, and the enormous potential of this marvelous group was therefore unrealized. The only forward movement took place outside the meeting room, during breaks and over meals and drinks, when the participants could talk and listen freely . Talk by itself, even brilliant speeches by famous people, does not create new realities. Most of the time it reproduces old ones.

My own behavior at the meeting did not really help. I fell into the same trap that so bothered me in the chairman and the panelists. When I talked with people in the corridors, I gave my same smart speech about how bothered I was by the speechmaking.

This talking without listening is both pervasive and insidious. I once facilitated a workshop of Jewish and Palestinian board members of a civil rights foundation in Jerusalem. The meeting was becoming increasingly tense, and so was I. The more tense I felt, the more directive and forceful my facilitation became. One of the Palestinian participants did not like this and said angrily, "I feel as though you are putting me in a jail!" Our way of talking had replicated, in microcosm, part of the dynamic we were trying to change.

Tough problems can only be solved if people talk openly, and in many situations this takes real courage. But this is not enough. The next step, listening openly, is even harder.




Solving Tough Problems(c) An Open Way of Talking, Listening, and Creating New Realities
Solving Tough Problems(c) An Open Way of Talking, Listening, and Creating New Realities
ISBN: N/A
EAN: N/A
Year: 2006
Pages: 53

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