The Behavioral Negotiations Alternative for Resolving Conflicts

I have frequently been asked to intervene when two members seem to be locked into some conflict and it is holding the rest of the team back. I find it helpful to first gain agreement on what role people want me to play in such an intervention. Table 17 outlines various roles one could assume to try to help. I actually never agree to serve as an arbitrator between parties. I have frequently been accused of being a " marriage counselor" when I have taken on these assignments. You should carefully negotiate your role and the ground rules that are to be used during the session.

TABLE 17: Roles and Responsibilities in Disputes
FACILITATOR Clarify purpose and procedures for discussion Moderate discussion so that only one person speaks at a time and no one dominates Ask questions for clarification Help the group use techniques such as brainstorming to generate options separately from passing judgment on the options Summarize discussion points and check whether parties agree with the summary Work with each party to think through issues separately and confidentially Serve as a messenger between parties Check to see whether parties agree without making decisions for them MEDIATOR Assume all responsibilities of the facilitator, above Offer options on content for possible solutions to disputes, still without making decisions for the parties ARBITRATOR Assume all responsibilities of facilitator and mediator, above Make decisions for parties in accordance with arbitration agreements CONSULTANT Help parties take an honest look at themselves and their situation Gather data through interviews, surveys, etc. Bring the parties together to examine their situation and facilitate planning for what to do about it Offer change strategies as options that may help the situation Help parties understand the pros/cons of various change strategies Facilitate session(s) where parties try to choose a change strategy Facilitate teambuilding and other interventions aimed at improving relations between the parties Provide training to enhance the knowledge or skills of clients and their constituencies Facilitate meetings designed to roll out the change strategy Gather data to help evaluate impact of change strategy efforts Examine systems to help ensure sustained, successful change efforts TRAINER Gather data to identify training needs Work with parties to establish objectives of the training sessions Develop materials to be used in the training sessions Design training session activities (e.g., exercises, cases, role plays, etc.) Facilitate training sessions Present information and materials when appropriate Help evaluate impact of the training Help parties plan how to utilize knowledge/skills gained

I prefer to meet first with each party separately and try to gauge their commitment to trying to work things out. I suggest to each that the sessions will be used to trade agreements regarding behaviors. Outlining this approach is table 18, which I sometimes give to the "combatants." We don't use the sessions to figure out who was right and who was wrong. We ultimately identify what each will do to make the situation better. We have follow-up sessions to verify whether the parties are following through on their commitments. Sometimes I have them sign a behavioral contract clarifying their commitments. Form 1 provides a sample contract you may want to use as you attempt to be the X-factor in the resolution of conflicts in these stalemates.

TABLE 18: Suggestions for Our Meeting
What is the purpose of this meeting? To establish an effective and satisfying professional relationship between this pair of team members. How should we proceed? The following ground rules are to be followed in our sessions: No blaming or judging Clear statements of what we want from each other, but no long explanations of why Separation of idea generating (brainstorming) from critiquing and deciding No sharing of ideas generated at these sessions outside the meeting without permission of the other party The key to success in these sessions is that all agreements of behavioral changes be made on a quid pro quo basis. Thus you will be asked to specify what behaviors you want the other person to Continue to keep doing Do more often Do less often Do differently The other person will do the same. The sessions will result in an exchange of these behavioral requests . I am here to facilitate this discussion, not to evaluate or decide anything. You agree that in this role I should Interrupt at any time to help focus the discussion Interrupt when I see a violation of ground rules Attempt to summarize/clarify points of discussion or decisions If behavioral agreements are negotiated, the participants will develop an implementation plan so that both can monitor progress and reinforce any efforts made to fulfill agreements with each other. We will conclude each meeting with a determination of what the next step should be.