REFRAMING CATEGORIES OF EMPLOYEES


REFRAMING CATEGORIES OF EMPLOYEES

  • DISCLAIMER : The following categories should never be used to demean, humiliate or intimidate any human beings (or critters for that matter). These metaphors and analogies should only be a source of discernment and a means to begin a new way of dealing with difficult people.

Goldfish

Goldfish are not predators; they are prey. They show up at the fishbowl and need to be fed a few flakes every day, and generally go about their business of being nice fishes. They are neither passive, nor are they aggressive . Workplace goldfish may have opinions or feelings, ideas or agendas , but they do not interfere with the workplace environment. They are generally known as "nice people" and "good workers." They may range from very bright and extremely competent to less bright and less competent, but they know how to work within a hierarchy structure, have professional courtesy and etiquette, manage their emotions well, and make a contribution to the organization. They are able to adjust to change without causing chaos and usually have a fairly stable life away from the office. Sometimes they are invisible or quiet, sometimes a bit boring, and sometimes they are quite flamboyant, loud and opinionated. Goldfish have lovely spirits. Whether they are rowdy and opinionated or shy and unobtrusive , being in their presence is a safe place to be. They are not going to eat you. They have a deep and abiding innocence. Goldfish are lovely souls. Goldfish may be able to wear shark suits when necessary, but they usually forget to take the Acme Shark Suit Rental sticker off the front pocket.

Sharks

Sharks are predators. Sharks can sense blood miles away. Sharks have no remorse. Sharks eat goldfish for breakfast , lunch and dinner. Sharks eat sharks. They don't care. Sharks own goldfish suits which fit perfectly although they are a bit tight and rub the wrong way in the wrong places if you watch them wiggle over time. They can be syrupy-sweet, false-faced demons that bite you in the back when you think you are safe, or the dark evil worker of fear and terror. A shark may not be evil at the core but it is an opportunist and has an agenda. Even when they have no intention to feed on you because their sights are set on bigger prey, sharks just don't have cozy spirits about them. They might eat you on the road to the bigger meal. They don't care. They set off Goldfish Intuition Alarms, but usually Goldfish want to be too nice so turn down the volume of their intuition. Goldfish feel guilty just thinking that Sharks might not be safe. After all, Sharks are people too! Nice Goldfishes make excuses for Sharks right up to the point that they get eaten alive . Sharks love this Shark game.

Some companies appreciate a successful Shark taking over a Goldfish or Shark business in a bloodless coup. It is to be expected. It is not personal, it's business. Sharks are not too much of a problem in a Shark tank with other Sharks. There is a difference between a Shark who is being an efficient Shark in a pool with other Sharks and a lone Shark with a plan. An emotional predator is misanthropic.

Guppies

Guppies are young or immature fish that live in their own bubble and seem to be immune to anything around them. They are mostly harmless unless they get between a shark and its prey. If that happens they can then be diversions of disposable meat. Workplace guppies are often perceived as office mascots. They can be a young intern or summer employee who has not seasoned into the field of survivors. They are not yet well defined. They may become goldfish or they may become sharks ” it is up for grabs and everyone wants to recruit them. For this reason they can be used by Emotional Terrorists for bait, meat, or rounding out a deception team. If they begin to emerge into a specific definition, they are at risk for being groomed by Sharks as allies or eaten alive to eliminate yet another pesky growing goldfish. They are perceived as generally disposable and invisible. Workplace guppies are usually well tolerated by all species, unless there is a loyalty feeding frenzy and all bets are off.

Dolphins

Dolphins flamboyantly risk their own spirit to be a mouthpiece for an organization. They are not whistleblowers, they are people who try to be agents of change. They are quick, bright, intense , sometimes cranky and cold, and usually quite opinionated. When questioned, however, you can clearly see that they have a deep investment in success of the organization and are feeling helpless and unsupported. They are willing to dive deep and leap high to keep things in working order. They may yell "Shark! Shark!" before anyone else. Where a Shark uses complaints to further its own agenda, a Dolphin is simply trying to let everyone know that there is danger nearby. Their alarms make them easy targets when they become a loud threat to a Shark. Dolphins are easy to destroy because they are highly visible. They tend to be less cuddly and cozy, more active, more verbal, and often quite more opinionated than a Goldfish. Dolphins usually survive but suffer from personal wounds. They have the mobility to leap into other ponds to survive and so they tend to leave jobs without a good recommendation for service rendered because it is easier to leave than become Shark bait. But they usually don't go quietly . They are prey, although an Emotional Terrorist will insist they have been the victims of these Dolphin "predators." Dolphins don't mind being Early Warning Witnesses to Shark presence. A Dolphin won't belabor the point for long and will move on to safer waters.

Turtles

Turtles seem to have shutters over their emotions and are difficult to read. They work hard at maintaining a professional demeanor, do not involve themselves in any workplace activity other than the business at hand, and do not engage in anything extra. They generally perceive that if they can keep out of it and just do their work all problems will disappear. These employees are dangerous, because they keep the fantasy alive that there are no dangers present in the happy little turtle bowl of life. They do not serve the process. They are the people who might tend to say, "Yeah, the Sharks were eating her, but it was none of my business." This sort of passive homicide redefines a turtle as a passive predator. In a Shark attack it is good business to take sides.

Vultures

Vultures are patient. They don't mind waiting for their food. They have a love affair with death and quietly sit on the sidelines, or circle around the playing field, waiting for a bit of dead critter. They don't care if it is a dead Goldfish or a Dead Shark; food is food. They are passively homicidal. They take no accountability for the death or destruction of prey, but willingly consume its flesh as soon as it is available. They offer no significant power of their own while they are waiting. They appear neutral; they aren't. They have an opinion and a preference. They don't offer much of a threat to the predator or prey, nor do they fear the predator or prey. They know their place and will bide their time for the feast. They are not emotionally upset about the losses of the prey, nor are they particularly interested in the conquests of the predator, unless there aren't any. Then they may try to stir a few bunnies out of the bushes and wait till the killing is over. They can be at the core of some forms of spinning if they are trying to stir the bunnies out of the bushes while they are waiting. Vultures can be scavengers.

Snakes

There are poisonous snakes and non-poisonous snakes. Toxic or not, snakes have some common behaviors. For example, they slither. They have good camouflage and can slip around unnoticed in the underbrush. They are quick, self-protective, and hard to catch. Snakes can be lovely to look at. Two different snakes, one toxic and one non-toxic, can look quite similar. Both kinds are fine in a glass aquarium, but a different kind of challenge slithering around the office. They tend to move quickly and hide cleverly. Some give warnings, some do not. Some can climb trees, others can swim. Depending upon the level of toxicity, snakes are interesting zoo colleagues. Many snakes are harmless. Some snakes are poisonous. Some snake poison will make you ill. Some will kill you instantly.

Spiders

An employee who manipulates another employee using sexuality or sensuality to lure them into a web prior to biting it to death is a Spider. The web can be personal or professional but extrication becomes very difficult. The "death" can be a metaphoric killing a career or job. Spiders can go anywhere right-side-up or upside down. They like the dark. They are scary but extremely vulnerable and fragile. Real spiders, arachnids, are actually quite fragile and vulnerable. Most of them die of thirst. Workplace spiders are not so fragile and generally thirst for blood. A Spider is often defined as someone who "wouldn't hurt a fly" until their back was turned.

Chameleons

A lizard with a projectile tongue who is able to change colorations, making it easier to escape and hide. A chameleon does whatever is necessary to change masks and costumes and ideas and language to avoid anything perceived as threatening .

The list is endless, but this should give you a start of how to reframe behaviors into more creative models. Emotional Continuity Management Training discussions have run wild with grand stories of dinosaurs, rats, canaries in mines, Dobermans on the grounds, ornamental cats in the temples, the well-groomed, caged college mascots who are ceremoniously trotted out only at the big game. The weasel is often a popular favorite along with the oft-maligned skunk, pig, donkey, flea, leech and snail . What have you seen in your "zoo?"

Mis-Informants / Liars

Just about everyone has told a lie at some point in their life. Some lies are socially acceptable and appropriate for a situation. Please don't tell the lady in the next office that the purple dress really makes her look fat just to be an "honest" person. Just as there are pathological liars, there are pathological "truth-ers." Balance is the key. Emotional Terrorists don't like balance, they like chaos. They prefer manipulating truth and manufacturing lies for their own agendas. Emotional Terrorists use different levels and styles of lies, as do non-terrorists. However, Emotional Terrorists use a very different intentionality and purpose for their lies. And, they become very good at it. Take a moment to consider the levels and styles of lies used by sex offenders, alcoholics, bank robbers, and serial killers. They adopt comprehensive lying strategies that are beyond the imagination of healthy people. Obviously these are not your regular sort of reasonable social lies; these lies have a purpose, an agenda, an intentionality to either self-protect at all costs, maintain bulletproof status or even do harm. There are dysfunctional and pathological lies and liars.

Kinds of Lies

  • Trivial matters, false excuses to spare a feeling, flattery, harmless, inconsequential

  • Lies to children about Easter bunnies, Santa Claus, the tooth fairy

  • Deceptions to make a person feel better

  • Inflation, exaggeration to make something sound better than it is, false praise, false encouragement, false support

  • False recommendations: intentional incorrect or incomplete answers

  • Fake resumes, false credentials

  • Lies to protect a boss, a colleague or client

  • Lies to liars

  • Lies to enemies

  • Not quite exacting, half truths, soft-soaps

  • Lies in a crisis when innocent lives, health, safety are at risk

  • Lies for no apparent reason

  • Lies for the sake of lies

  • Lies as games and manipulations

  • Lies about lies

  • Terminal lies

  • Cover-up lies

  • Brainwashing lies

  • Corporate lies

  • Accounting lies

  • Political lies

  • Seduction lies

  • Addiction lies

  • Agreed-upon group lies

  • Criminal lies

  • Lies about lies

Time Tyrants

Time is a precious commodity to us all. Time is Money. To most adults, time is sacred. An Emotional Time Terrorist messes with your time. They have many ways to accumulate, control, or dispose of your time. They work either actively or passively to manipulate the clock.

Look at the following list and think if you have any Time Tyrants on your team:

  • Time Tyrant: So demanding about punctuality or deadlines that it is difficult to think straight under the pressure. A minute late is too much, no flexibility or patience, judgmental about other peoples' time.

  • Time Thief: A procrastinator, or gets to arrive late, or asks for last-minute details at the end of the day. Uses work time for e-mail, personal calls, video games, dating set ups.

  • Time Hoarders: Won't do anything extra, as if Time was their own domain, saves up leave and use it at inopportune times, will demand special time with managers and administration, asks for extra meetings.

  • Time Addicts: Rigid attention or non-attention to time, unchangeable time habits no matter the situation or circumstances, work only out of a day planner, no flex time, no breathing space, Type A people, every moment used, must be "on" all the time.

  • Time Misers: Makes everyone wait for them, late to meetings because of their other meetings, demands that everyone work on their clock, Scrooge-like control of other peoples' time.

  • Time Victims: Always behind or ahead of time, but it is never their fault.

  • Time Gamblers: Takes risks with projects, or deadlines, or lunch breaks or holiday scheduling. Doesn't take time seriously, theirs or yours, time is a game, bulletproof.

  • Time Saboteurs: Will distract or employ manipulations to make themselves central in the middle of a time crunch, late to meetings, interrupt meetings, work during meetings on other projects, sidetrack other employees' time making others late.

Recognizing Tools and Weapons of Time Tyrants

Unclear Language

Poor Communication

Distractions

Grandstanding

Red Tape

Victim Attitude

Unresolved Conflicts

Low Moral Standards

Poor Ethics

Untrained Staff

Poor Authority Chain

Unnecessary Travel

Indecision

Mistakes Without Learning

Poorly Managed Fatigue

Changing Deadline Mid-Task

Clutter Disorder

Disorder

Poor Listening

Disorganization

Gossip

Ethical Violations

Lack Of Accountability

Procrastination

Unreasonable Expectations

Won't Clean Own Messes

Blaming Others

Poor Self Care

Arriving Late

Arriving Too Early

Needing To Be Central

Avoiding Participation




Emotional Terrors in the Workplace. Protecting Your Business' Bottom Line. Emotional Continuity Management in the Workplace
Emotional Terrors in the Workplace: Protecting Your Business Bottom Line - Emotional Continuity Management in the Workplace
ISBN: B0019KYUXS
EAN: N/A
Year: 2003
Pages: 228

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